Category Archives: Envy / Jealousy / Coveting

Bitterness / Resentment, Children, Consequences of Sin, Envy / Jealousy / Coveting, Evidence in Scripture, Family, Love

Doing It Our Way Instead of God’s Way… What A Mess!

Genesis 30:1-24 continues to show us the depth of consequences for doing things our way instead of God’s way. Jacob, who intentionally tricked and deceived his father Isaac, was later intentionally tricked and deceived by his uncle Laban and now finds himself married to two women, one of which he does not love. God has granted Leah several sons because she was unloved by her husband and given Rachel none.

30 When Rachel saw that she wasn’t having any children for Jacob, she became jealous of her sister. She pleaded with Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!”

2 Then Jacob became furious with Rachel. “Am I God?” he asked. “He’s the one who has kept you from having children!”

3 Then Rachel told him, “Take my maid, Bilhah, and sleep with her. She will bear children for me,[a] and through her I can have a family, too.” 4 So Rachel gave her servant, Bilhah, to Jacob as a wife, and he slept with her. 5 Bilhah became pregnant and presented him with a son. 6 Rachel named him Dan,[b] for she said, “God has vindicated me! He has heard my request and given me a son.” 7 Then Bilhah became pregnant again and gave Jacob a second son. 8 Rachel named him Naphtali,[c] for she said, “I have struggled hard with my sister, and I’m winning!”

9 Meanwhile, Leah realized that she wasn’t getting pregnant anymore, so she took her servant, Zilpah, and gave her to Jacob as a wife. 10 Soon Zilpah presented him with a son. 11 Leah named him Gad,[d] for she said, “How fortunate I am!” 12 Then Zilpah gave Jacob a second son. 13 And Leah named him Asher,[e] for she said, “What joy is mine! Now the other women will celebrate with me.”

14 One day during the wheat harvest, Reuben found some mandrakes growing in a field and brought them to his mother, Leah. Rachel begged Leah, “Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.”

15 But Leah angrily replied, “Wasn’t it enough that you stole my husband? Now will you steal my son’s mandrakes, too?”

Rachel answered, “I will let Jacob sleep with you tonight if you give me some of the mandrakes.”

16 So that evening, as Jacob was coming home from the fields, Leah went out to meet him. “You must come and sleep with me tonight!” she said. “I have paid for you with some mandrakes that my son found.” So that night he slept with Leah. 17 And God answered Leah’s prayers. She became pregnant again and gave birth to a fifth son for Jacob. 18 She named him Issachar,[f] for she said, “God has rewarded me for giving my servant to my husband as a wife.” 19 Then Leah became pregnant again and gave birth to a sixth son for Jacob. 20 She named him Zebulun,[g] for she said, “God has given me a good reward. Now my husband will treat me with respect, for I have given him six sons.” 21 Later she gave birth to a daughter and named her Dinah.

22 Then God remembered Rachel’s plight and answered her prayers by enabling her to have children. 23 She became pregnant and gave birth to a son. “God has removed my disgrace,” she said. 24 And she named him Joseph,[h] for she said, “May the Lord add yet another son to my family.”

The first observation I will make is this… what a mess! Surely the scriptures must be true. If someone were willing to change them they would have started by removing the family failures like this one which reflects poorly on Isaac and Jacob. It reflects poorly on Isaac because he raised Jacob and Esau in a family environment where each parent clearly had their favorite child and was content to let the other be loved less or not at all. Thus that sin and failure became part of Jacob’s “inheritance” and he continued it into his family by failing to love his wife, Leah. He clearly embraced Rachel as his favorite.

How could doing things God’s way have helped avert this situation?

  • God intended marriage to be between one man and one woman, not a man and several women. Man can not properly demonstrate love to more than one woman and perhaps even if he could, even the appearance of favorites leads to jealousy, bitterness and division.
  • Jacob having married Leah, should have loved her. Love is not just an emotion, it is conscious act of will as outlined in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
  • Jacob surely must have known or had the opportunity to know  the bitterness between Rachel and Leah, yet he did nothing as the leader of his household to resolve it. He was not dwelling with understanding with his wives as called for in 1 Peter 3:7.  (7You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. )
  • When Jacob was confronted directly by Rachel, he still did not turn to God in prayer or insert himself more deeply into the situation between Rachel and Leah. He basically dismissed Rachel in anger as shown in verse 2. (2 Then Jacob became furious with Rachel. “Am I God?” he asked. “He’s the one who has kept you from having children!”) What would have happened if Jacob would have listened to Rachel, repented and asked God for help, changing his own behaviors to do things God’s way?
  • There were still yet other opportunities to avert total family meltdown… either Rachel or Leah could have returned good for evil and just smothered the other in kindness and grace as called for in 1 Peter 3:9. (8To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; 9not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.) Though this verse is intended in context for husband and wife, a similar approach helps between any two people.

Instead of doing things God’s way, they continued to fight and scheme, trying to “win” by doing things their own way. This is clearly a failure of Jacob as leader of the family and we will see this failure continue on into how his sons treat Joseph, who becomes his favorite.

Both Rachel and Leah propose… and Jacob agrees… that Jacob sleep with their maids. The sinful failures of the father continue to the next generation. Abraham and Sarah already went down this road earlier in Genesis and it did not end well. They chose to “help” God provide a son for Abraham through Sarah’s maid. If they made any attempt to share this mistake and its implications with their children, it is not evident. Isaac witnessed the failure through tension within the family regarding Ishmael. Jacob knew of Ishmael… in fact his brother, Esau, went to visit Ishmael at one point. None the less, Jacob and his wives fail and have children through their maid servants… once again doing things their way instead of God’s way.

There are no number of sons that can be had to end this bitterness as having children is not the root of the issue. The root is Jacob’s failure to love Leah and Rachel both. It is their failure to live God’s way.

We clearly see demonstrated that there are natural consequences for our sin and failures when we do things our own way, even if we have God’s blessing as Jacob had.

Each of us should seek to know God’s ways and follow them. When we are faced with trials, we should seek answers in His word and in prayer. Do things God’s way, not our own.

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Character of God, Envy / Jealousy / Coveting, Hearing from God, Money / Finances / Wealth, Obeying God, Peace / Rest, Praise / Worship / Glorify God, Righteousness / Serving God, Suffering / Adversity, Thankfulness

Responding To Hostility

We continue in Genesis 26:12-25, after Abimelech, the King of the Philistines, has issued a proclamation to protect Isaac’s wife, Rebekah. Isaac was living in Philistine land. Jealousy of others toward the success of Isaac (due to God’s blessing) drives conflict which ultimately leads to Isaac’s departure from the area.

12 When Isaac planted his crops that year, he harvested a hundred times more grain than he planted, for the Lord blessed him. 13 He became a very rich man, and his wealth continued to grow. 14 He acquired so many flocks of sheep and goats, herds of cattle, and servants that the Philistines became jealous of him. 15 So the Philistines filled up all of Isaac’s wells with dirt. These were the wells that had been dug by the servants of his father, Abraham.

16 Finally, Abimelech ordered Isaac to leave the country. “Go somewhere else,” he said, “for you have become too powerful for us.”

17 So Isaac moved away to the Gerar Valley, where he set up their tents and settled down. 18 He reopened the wells his father had dug, which the Philistines had filled in after Abraham’s death. Isaac also restored the names Abraham had given them.

19 Isaac’s servants also dug in the Gerar Valley and discovered a well of fresh water. 20 But then the shepherds from Gerar came and claimed the spring. “This is our water,” they said, and they argued over it with Isaac’s herdsmen. So Isaac named the well Esek (which means “argument”). 21 Isaac’s men then dug another well, but again there was a dispute over it. So Isaac named it Sitnah (which means “hostility”). 22 Abandoning that one, Isaac moved on and dug another well. This time there was no dispute over it, so Isaac named the place Rehoboth (which means “open space”), for he said, “At last the Lord has created enough space for us to prosper in this land.”

23 From there Isaac moved to Beersheba, 24 where the Lord appeared to him on the night of his arrival. “I am the God of your father, Abraham,” he said. “Do not be afraid, for I am with you and will bless you. I will multiply your descendants, and they will become a great nation. I will do this because of my promise to Abraham, my servant.” 25 Then Isaac built an altar there and worshiped the Lord. He set up his camp at that place, and his servants dug another well.

We see that human nature has not changed in thousands of years. When we experience God’s blessing and succeed, fools will look to  harm to us out of jealousy. The wise will instead seek to understand how we have prospered so they can learn and replicate it. Abimelech becomes concerned by Isaac’s great wealth and commands him to leave.

Isaac respected Abimelech’s authority and relocated to where Abraham had previously settled. When he dug wells he was met with more adversity and hostility from those nearby who challenged his rights to the water there. Isaac avoided conflict again… and again… and eventually found open space. He gave glory to God. He was not complaining about all the hostility he faced but rather thanking God for providing space for him to occupy.

Later God revealed Himself to Isaac at Beersheba and affirmed the promise to Isaac that was first given to Abraham. Isaac responded by building an altar and worshipping God.

I have a lot of respect for Isaac in that He did not try to react in this situation to hostility with violence. He sought open space to peacefully flourish and God granted it to him. While there are times when it is appropriate to fight, as Abraham demonstrated in Genesis 14,  Isaac demonstrates that there are times when the best response is a peaceful one. In this case Isaac was in someone else’s land under Abimelech and then moving into land near where others already occupied. He avoided a conqueror mentality in both cases. With his great wealth it is reasonable to conclude he could have mustered a significant fighting force. Else, why would Abimelech have been concerned?

God provides many examples in scripture where fighting is appropriate and others where a peaceful solution is best. We should be careful not to gravitate to easily toward a one-size-fits-all  solution of violence or peace and try to fit it to every situation. Instead, we should study God’s word and seek Him in prayer for wisdom in how to respond to adversity and threats in our lives as individuals, families, and nations.

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Envy / Jealousy / Coveting

Wherever There Is Jealousy You Will Find Evil

God warns us repeatedly about the trap or temptation of  jealousy. Our sinful nature has a tendency to look to others and want what they have. It leads to disorder and evil.

[James 3:16] 16 For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.

[Luke 12:13-15] 13 Then someone called from the crowd, “Teacher, please tell my brother to divide our father’s estate with me.” 14 Jesus replied, “Friend, who made me a judge over you to decide such things as that?” 15 Then he said, “Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own.”

[Philippians 4:12-13] 12 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13 For I can do everything through Christ,[a] who gives me strength.

There is always someone who has something else we may want… we will never be satisfied by looking at what others have. Instead, we are to look to Jesus Christ for our joy and fulfillment. Through Christ we can endure times of plenty and times of want.

There is nothing more rewarding than a rich and personal relationship with Jesus Christ, our lord and savior.

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Anger (unrighteous anger), Consequences of Sin, Envy / Jealousy / Coveting, Hebrew Roots / Commands / Law, Murder, Pride, Righteousness / Serving God

Sin Wrecks Families and Separates Us From God

God speaks to us in Genesis 4:1-16 about the devastation that sin can create for individuals and their families.  When we choose to sin, there are consequences. When we choose to sin, it is not God’s fault, but our own.

4 Now Adam[a] had sexual relations with his wife, Eve, and she became pregnant. When she gave birth to Cain, she said, “With the Lord’s help, I have produced[b] a man!” 2 Later she gave birth to his brother and named him Abel.

When they grew up, Abel became a shepherd, while Cain cultivated the ground. 3 When it was time for the harvest, Cain presented some of his crops as a gift to the Lord. 4 Abel also brought a gift—the best portions of the firstborn lambs from his flock. The Lord accepted Abel and his gift, 5 but he did not accept Cain and his gift. This made Cain very angry, and he looked dejected.

6 “Why are you so angry?” the Lord asked Cain. “Why do you look so dejected? 7 You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.”

8 One day Cain suggested to his brother, “Let’s go out into the fields.”[c] And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother, Abel, and killed him.

9 Afterward the Lord asked Cain, “Where is your brother? Where is Abel?”

“I don’t know,” Cain responded. “Am I my brother’s guardian?”

10 But the Lord said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground! 11 Now you are cursed and banished from the ground, which has swallowed your brother’s blood. 12 No longer will the ground yield good crops for you, no matter how hard you work! From now on you will be a homeless wanderer on the earth.”

13 Cain replied to the Lord, “My punishment[d] is too great for me to bear! 14 You have banished me from the land and from your presence; you have made me a homeless wanderer. Anyone who finds me will kill me!”

15 The Lord replied, “No, for I will give a sevenfold punishment to anyone who kills you.” Then the Lord put a mark on Cain to warn anyone who might try to kill him. 16 So Cain left the Lord’s presence and settled in the land of Nod,[e] east of Eden.

There are many important points in this passage of scripture.

  • Despite earlier sin in the garden of Eden by Adam and Eve, God still maintained a personal relationship with their family. They were special to Him.
  • Cain and Abel both grew up in the same family environment with the same parents and likely a similar upbringing. That was not the cause of Cain’s sin.
  • God did not create the sin. He created people with a free will, who have the ability to love or rebel against God. Then He told them what they should do and what they should not do.
  • God loved Cain enough to speak to him personally about his sin, despite the fact that Cain was not doing what was right. God specifically warned Cain to address the sin in his life and to change behavior to do what is right. This instruction would require Cain to change his behavior.
  • Cain gives the appearance of genuinely caring about pleasing God, but was unwilling to change his behavior. Instead, Cain attacked and killed his brother who was honoring God. Jealousy led to anger, which led to murder. Of course, his actions did not lead him to right standing with God… quite the opposite.
  • Cain never demonstrates a repentant heart or regret for his actions. He lies to God and tries to hide his sin. Cain never admits wrongdoing or asks forgiveness. He only expresses grief at the consequences of his sin when confronted about it.
  • Because Cain was an unrepentant sinner, he created separation for himself from God.
  • God still loved Cain enough to protect him despite his unrepentant attitude toward sin. Imagine how God would have rejoiced if Cain would have repented.

Cain’s pride and stubbornness to do things his way instead of God’s way and his refusal to repent from sin wrecked his family and separated him from God. We should each challenge ourselves to learn from Cain’s poor choices and apply those learnings to our lives.

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