As Jesus is teaching and healing in the presence of large crowds of public witnesses it must have surely been a dramatic sight. People being healed, family and friends cheering on in amazement and praising God. This must surely have been an exciting scene in Matthew 19:1-12. Yet the Pharisees walk past all of this in an effort to trap Jesus. Jesus, undeterred, uses this as an opportunity to speak clearly about marriage and divorce.
19 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went down to the region of Judea east of the Jordan River. 2 Large crowds followed him there, and he healed their sick.
3 Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?”
4 “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’[a]” 5 And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’[b] 6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
7 “Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?”[c] they asked.
8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. 9 And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.[d]”
10 Jesus’ disciples then said to him, “If this is the case, it is better not to marry!”
11 “Not everyone can accept this statement,” Jesus said. “Only those whom God helps. 12 Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry[e] for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.”
It almost seems routine that Jesus healed the sick in front of large crowds. It is mentioned almost in passing as we begin this scripture. But we must be careful never to take that for granted. He performed those signs to demonstrate His authority as God to heal people physically and spiritually (through forgiveness of sins for those who repent).
The scene is set… large crowds hearing Jesus teach and witnessing miracles of healing publically with many witnesses… and the Pharisees, religious leaders, can only think about trapping Jesus. They are blind to His truth because they already decided that they do not want to give up their power, authority, and influence. They seem blinded by their own wickedness. They are certainly not submitted to God.
Jesus takes the opportunity to clearly teach about marriage and divorce. With great clarity, Jesus points to the scriptures as authoritative and specifically points to marriage being between one man and one woman. Homosexual “marriage” is clearly omitted because it is wrong and not God’s plan. Additionally, God clearly speaks that a man is joined to his “wife”, not his “wives”.
Once a husband and wife are joined by God in marriage, God intends for them to stay together and seek and submit to God and each other through good times and difficult times. They are to separate from mother and father and join to each other as the primary relationship in their lives, behind only their individual relationships with God for priority. The two become one and should not be separated.
Because of the wickedness and hardness of our hearts, God does allow divorce in some instances. It is not His plan for married couples to seek divorce, but rather a disappointing outcome driven by wickedness and selfishness, which at times creates a dangerous or harmful situation. We should never take divorce lightly and should always seek God’s help to reconcile and confirm before going down that path. It is better not to marry, than to marry and divorce.
For those of us who have experienced divorce or know those who have, there is forgiveness and grace for those who submit to God and repent from our sins. We should be careful not to rationalize divorce in a way that vindicates any involved are faultless. Those who develop an intimate relationship with God, study His scripture and apply it to their lives, submit to Him and prayerfully ask for His guidance… will be much more successful in choosing a godly spouse and living out a godly marriage that requires each of us to change and move away from our sinful and selfish desires and submit to God and our spouse. If two are truly submitted to God, difficulties in marriage can be addressed and overcome to the glory of God.
Instead, when we find ourselves in divorce, we must turn with genuine repentance before God and seek His forgiveness and grace. Jesus already died for our sins. His blood pays for our mistakes. Accept His grace and seek greater relationship with Him to avoid repeating the same sin again.
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