The marriage covenant is the most sacred covenant we enter with exception to our covenant with God. Our world today provides much distraction and false teaching about marriage.
Even amongst Christian communities and families there is often little or no Biblical teaching to help guide how we should select a spouse and prepare us to live a godly marriage.
Several important foundational principles include:
- Understand the true biblical nature of love rather than the definition of love offered outside of God’s word
- Seek and select a godly spouse. Pray for God’s help.
- Continue working to make your marriage godly through your whole life together. Do not be satisfied with “good enough”.
- A husband and wife should each actively work to grow closer to God, and by doing so, will also grow closer to each other.
Understand the true nature of love as defined in the Bible It is not a “warm fuzzy feeling” that our society today presents as love. That is often based on short term feelings of happiness. It is not based solely on physical attraction… that is lust. Only the Biblical definition of love endures with true joy through the hardship we can expect in life.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails…
Seeking a godly spouse:
- Study and obey God’s instruction about marriage. A clear example that many disregard is that marriage is intended to be between one man and one woman. (study scripture on marriage)
- Study the Bible to understand what character traits to develop in yourself and look for in a spouse.
- Become the godly example of a person that you want to find in a spouse. Continue maturing in your personal relationship with Jesus Christ and live as a godly example in your life.
- Take your time in selecting your spouse. Ensure you know them well and share a similar depth of faith in Jesus Christ.
- Pray for God to give you confirmation of whom you should marry and then make sure what you hear is from God by seeking godly counsel and comparing it to God’s word.
When a husband and wife get married, it is just the beginning. It is the gate onto the path they travel the rest of their life. To experience the true joy God intended for marriage relationship, they must continue to be intentional in growing their marriage relationship to be more than “good enough”… but rather to be godly.
- Study the Bible independently to continue your personal growth in relationship with God.
- Maintain an active prayer life between yourself and God. It should be two way communication.
- Spend time together with your spouse daily (or as often as you can to start) studying and applying the word of God to your lives
- Spend time in prayer together with your spouse daily.
- Invest in your marriage relationship before you have difficulty. Seek resources (e.g. books, conferences, online ministries, etc.) that can help you grow closer to your spouse over time. Do not wait until the relationship is struggling to work on improving it.
- Seek out and partner with another godly married couple you respect and trust that know Jesus. You can serve as accountability and prayer partners for each other before God.
I have started a list of some good resources that provide practical help for growing in our marriage. Is there a resource you have found that helped you? Please share with us from the Contact Us page.
Find more support under our Ministries section of the site, under the Focused Ministries – Marriage page.
Click this link and scroll down through the devotions to study our Biblical devotions on marriage.
Books and Other Resources
- For Men Only and For Women Only,by Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn, reveal eye-opening truths and simple acts that will improve your relationship with your spouse.
- Moments Together For Couples, by Dennis and Barbara Rainey, provides daily devotions for drawing near to God and spouse.
- The 5 Love Languages,by Gary Chapman, shows us how to keep our marriage relationship fresh and growing amid the demands and conflicts and just plain boredom of everyday life.
- The Love Dare personally leads you through daily devotionals, records your thoughts and experiences, and ends each day daring you to perform a simple act of love for your spouse.
- TimeWarpWife.com was born from a real life example of a marriage that could have ended in a wreck, but through grace has blossomed into a ministry serving God.