Sometimes our culture chooses to portray sex and sexual attraction outside of marriage as “exciting” and sex inside marriage as nonexistent or boring. Some in the church even get misled into thinking somehow they are not supposed to be excited about it. God created sex as a gift in our relationship between husband and wife. We are to enjoy it and through it, we are to strengthen our bond of intimacy. We are supposed to find delight in each other in this way.
Mutual Delight in Each Other
1“Where has your beloved gone,
O most beautiful among women?
Where has your beloved turned,
That we may seek him with you?”
2“My beloved has gone down to his garden,
To the beds of balsam,
To pasture his flock in the gardens
And gather lilies.
3“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine,
He who pastures his flock among the lilies.”
4“You are as beautiful as Tirzah, my darling,
As lovely as Jerusalem,
As awesome as an army with banners.
5“Turn your eyes away from me,
For they have confused me;
Your hair is like a flock of goats
That have descended from Gilead.
6“Your teeth are like a flock of ewes
Which have come up from their washing,
All of which bear twins,
And not one among them has lost her young.
7“Your temples are like a slice of a pomegranate
Behind your veil.
8“There are sixty queens and eighty concubines,
And maidens without number;
9But my dove, my perfect one, is unique:
She is her mother’s only daughter;
She is the pure child of the one who bore her.
The maidens saw her and called her blessed,
The queens and the concubines also, and they praised her, saying,
10‘Who is this that grows like the dawn,
As beautiful as the full moon,
As pure as the sun,
As awesome as an army with banners?’
11“I went down to the orchard of nut trees
To see the blossoms of the valley,
To see whether the vine had budded
Or the pomegranates had bloomed.
12“Before I was aware, my soul set me
Over the chariots of my noble people.”
13“Come back, come back, O Shulammite;
Come back, come back, that we may gaze at you!”
“Why should you gaze at the Shulammite,
As at the dance of the two companies?
In fact, sex in marriage is so important that we are told not to withhold it from one another. It is to be given and enjoyed freely, not withheld for power or to force someone to agree to something else. The Biblical view is really anchored in the concept that the two have become one. They are no longer separate individuals.
3The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Do not deprive one another such that Satan can utilize that opportunity to tempt you into sin. Do not use sex or withholding of sex as a negotiating tactic. Enjoy sex together as husband and wife and let it strengthen your intimacy.
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