I firmly believe that YHWH intends one man and one woman in marriage. I believe scripture makes this clear. However, we see many examples where His people appear to be influenced by the pagan nations around them in areas such as marriage to more than one wife. It becomes “normal” or “accepted” and then at some point His people don’t even recognize it is wrong. David is faithful and dependent on YHWH at this point in his life and yet he does not seem to recognize that this is wrong.
David Marries Abigail
39When David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, “Blessed be the LORD, who has pleaded the cause of my reproach from the hand of Nabal and has kept back His servant from evil. The LORD has also returned the evildoing of Nabal on his own head.” Then David sent a proposal to Abigail, to take her as his wife. 40When the servants of David came to Abigail at Carmel, they spoke to her, saying, “David has sent us to you to take you as his wife.” 41She arose and bowed with her face to the ground and said, “Behold, your maidservant is a maid to wash the feet of my lord’s servants.” 42Then Abigail quickly arose, and rode on a donkey, with her five maidens who attended her; and she followed the messengers of David and became his wife.
43David had also taken Ahinoam of Jezreel, and they both became his wives.
44Now Saul had given Michal his daughter, David’s wife, to Palti the son of Laish, who was from Gallim.
I have included a few verses which clearly state one wife to one husband. Notice the plural vs. singular nature of the combinations of husband and wife or husbands and wives. There is no “husband love your wives” or “hold fast to your wives“. Singular matches each time and when plural is used, it refers to more than one married couple.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24 ESV)
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. (1 Corinthians 7:2 ESV)
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, … (Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV)
He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:4-6 ESV)
I think we also need to be aware that some things we have taken to be normal and acceptable living among the worldly are actually not ok. Even though people identifying as Christians may make certain actions commonplace now, we can not assume that makes it right. We must go back and study the word of YHWH and pray for enlightenment and discernment. We must challenge cultural norms, even those that our parents accepted and their parents before them. I am not speaking only of marriage, but of any cultural norms… could be holidays like Halloween or even how we celebrate Easter, could be acceptance of homosexuality or abortion. There are a wide range of issues around which those identifying as Christian have strayed far from God’s word as they have been influenced by the culture of the world around them.
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