Category Archives: Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage

Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Am I on the path?, Discerning / Judging, Envy / Jealousy / Coveting, Forgive Others / Seek Forgiveness, Grace / Forgiveness, Greed, Idols / False Gods, Righteousness / Serving God, Salvation, Thankfulness

Should A Christian Judge Others?

The topic of judging others is one that typically brings out strong emotions amongst Christians today. One can have an argument erupt without ever getting deeper into the discussion behind the word “judge”. It is important to consider context of how we use the word “judge”. It can be used to refer to determining one’s salvation in Christ or also used in regards to determining right actions and motives from wrong ones. These are two very different contexts, even though the external actions are often a reflection of the internal motives. How might we go about considering this topic? How about we pick a good role model and see how they show it should be done?

From the time we are young children we are often taught to look at role models to guide our behavior. The concept is simple… identify someone who is doing something well and that you want to “be like” and then study how they think and act. Repeat their actions and hope to repeat their successful outcome in your own life.

The right role models help us succeed in our endeavors, but the wrong role models can lead us on a path to failure and destruction. The wise take great care in evaluating proper role models to follow, but the foolish decide quickly whom to imitate based on surface evaluation of fame or money or status. What we perceive to be “success” has great influence in whom we choose as a role model. Am I pursuing a football career? or a close personal relationship with God? If both, which is my higher priority?

Pause for a moment and consider who you would use as your role model in evaluating the topic of “judging others”. Now let us consider who Paul points to in Ephesians 5.

Ephesians 5:1-21

Be Imitators of God

      1Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; 2and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

      3But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; 4and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. 5For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

      6Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 7Therefore do not be partakers with them; 8for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light 9(for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), 10trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. 11Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; 12for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret. 13But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.

14For this reason it says,
“Awake, sleeper,
And arise from the dead,
And Christ will shine on you.”

      15Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, 16making the most of your time, because the days are evil. 17So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, 19speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; 20always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; 21and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

I hear many cling to false doctrine that “I can do anything I want and the grace of God will cover it“… which essentially makes the case that we can intentionally rebel against God, or just ignore Him, instead of submit to Him and He does not mind! That is absurd.  Paul clearly teaches differently as did Jesus and all the prophets. The key message of all of them was to “repent, turn away from wrong behaviors and attitudes, submit to God, and sin no more“.  No Biblical prophet or disciple (and certainly not Jesus) ever taught that it was ok to keep sinning willfully. If you find that scripture… please send it to me. It is not there.

It should be sobering to all of us to read Ephesians 5:5.

Ephesians 5:5  5For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Yes… our behaviors and attitudes, which are observable by other people, are a reflection of our inner faith and relationship with God. We cannot claim to be righteous and in right relationship with God just because we say so and then keep on sinning!

Romans 6:1-3 1What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? 2May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?

Ephesians 5:6-7 are actually a command for us to avoid the deception of empty words! Far too many are confused and declare no one should “judge” anyone else. We are clearly instructed to discern genuine followers of Christ from liars by their actions and then to keep away from those who are not truly following God!

Ephesians 5:6-7  6Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 7Therefore do not be partakers with them;

It is equally true that we should test even our own actions to see if they reflect Christ or not. Let us not be complacent in that we say Jesus is Lord, but rather test our actions to see if we are living in such a way that demonstrates we believe Jesus is Lord. This means we obey His commandments, not our own desires and not the value system of the world.

Ephesians 5:11 goes on to instruct us explicitly to not participate in and even to expose the deeds of darkness rather than ignore them for fear of “judging” others who do wrong. We are not called to just go along to avoid offending other people.  We are called to use wisdom and discernment to judge right from wrong!

Ephesians 5:11 11Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them;

If we listen to many role models, even leaders in many churches, we will be told not to “judge” actions of others. But when we choose God as our role model, and the Bible as our primary source of revelation about God… an unchanging source of knowledge about an unchanging God… we see different instruction. We must wisely judge right from wrong so that we can do right and avoid wrong. To do so we must identify by their observable actions who are those that we can trust and who are those we can not. We should even go so far as to challenge ourselves by comparing our observable actions to the words we say when we claim to submit to Jesus.

As an interesting exercise, consider the following. If you were on trial, accused of being a Christian… a true follower of Jesus Christ… could anyone convict you based on actual observable facts?

James 2:18-19

18But someone may well say, “You have faith and I have works; show me your faith without the works, and I will show you my faith by my works.” 19You believe that God is one. You do well; the demons also believe, and shudder. 20But are you willing to recognize, you foolish fellow, that faith without works is useless?

What changes should you consider to your life that may help build the evidence that you are a genuine Christian?  Keep in mind, of course, that doing works just to do works amounts to nothing. We must start by testing what we really believe in our heart, submit to and follow Jesus wholeheartedly, and you will want to do the works.

Said a different way, if you can not find evidence to convict you as a follower of Christ, do not try to fix the problem by starting with more works, but rather by inspecting your heart and transforming your heart to fully submit to following Jesus. Then simply live your life with a genuine love for Jesus and desire to obey His commands… and the works will just show up.

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Have you submitted your life to Jesus Christ? If you die today, do you know for sure that you would be with God in heaven? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Can God Use Me?, Consequences of Sin, Disobeying, Rebelling Against, Ignoring God, Grace / Forgiveness, Lying / Deceiving, Suffering / Adversity, Wickedness / Evil

God Can Bring Forth Blessing From Brokenness

Genesis 38 records terrible behavior and choices by Judah and his family. They are far from God in how they live their lives. It is an absolute wonder that God would choose this tribe from which to come into the world in the person of Jesus Christ. What a powerful reminder of God’s grace. God does not look upon us on the basis of merit, but rather through a lens of grace (giving what we do not deserve) and forgiveness when we repent from our wrong behaviors(turn away from wrong ways and do things God’s way).

      1And it came about at that time, that Judah departed from his brothers and visited a certain Adullamite, whose name was Hirah. 2Judah saw there a daughter of a certain Canaanite whose name was Shua; and he took her and went in to her. 3So she conceived and bore a son and he named him Er. 4Then she conceived again and bore a son and named him Onan. 5She bore still another son and named him Shelah; and it was at Chezib that she bore him.

      6Now Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. 7But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was evil in the sight of the LORD, so the LORD took his life. 8Then Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother’s wife, and perform your duty as a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.” 9Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother’s wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. 10But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the LORD; so He took his life also. 11Then Judah said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, “Remain a widow in your father’s house until my son Shelah grows up”; for he thought, “I am afraid that he too may die like his brothers.” So Tamar went and lived in her father’s house.

      12Now after a considerable time Shua’s daughter, the wife of Judah, died; and when the time of mourning was ended, Judah went up to his sheepshearers at Timnah, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite. 13It was told to Tamar, “Behold, your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep.” 14So she removed her widow’s garments and covered herself with a veil, and wrapped herself, and sat in the gateway of Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah; for she saw that Shelah had grown up, and she had not been given to him as a wife. 15When Judah saw her, he thought she was a harlot, for she had covered her face. 16So he turned aside to her by the road, and said, “Here now, let me come in to you”; for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. And she said, “What will you give me, that you may come in to me?” 17He said, therefore, “I will send you a young goat from the flock.” She said, moreover, “Will you give a pledge until you send it?” 18He said, “What pledge shall I give you?” And she said, “Your seal and your cord, and your staff that is in your hand.” So he gave them to her and went in to her, and she conceived by him. 19Then she arose and departed, and removed her veil and put on her widow’s garments.

      20When Judah sent the young goat by his friend the Adullamite, to receive the pledge from the woman’s hand, he did not find her. 21He asked the men of her place, saying, “Where is the temple prostitute who was by the road at Enaim?” But they said, “There has been no temple prostitute here.” 22So he returned to Judah, and said, “I did not find her; and furthermore, the men of the place said, ‘There has been no temple prostitute here.’” 23Then Judah said, “Let her keep them, otherwise we will become a laughingstock. After all, I sent this young goat, but you did not find her.”

      24Now it was about three months later that Judah was informed, “Your daughter-in-law Tamar has played the harlot, and behold, she is also with child by harlotry.” Then Judah said, “Bring her out and let her be burned!” 25It was while she was being brought out that she sent to her father-in-law, saying, “I am with child by the man to whom these things belong.” And she said, “Please examine and see, whose signet ring and cords and staff are these?” 26Judah recognized them, and said, “She is more righteous than I, inasmuch as I did not give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not have relations with her again.

      27It came about at the time she was giving birth, that behold, there were twins in her womb. 28Moreover, it took place while she was giving birth, one put out a hand, and the midwife took and tied a scarlet thread on his hand, saying, “This one came out first.” 29But it came about as he drew back his hand, that behold, his brother came out. Then she said, “What a breach you have made for yourself!” So he was named Perez. 30Afterward his brother came out who had the scarlet thread on his hand; and he was named Zerah.

This scripture shows us a family living by the flesh and in selfishness rather than living according to God’s ways. God was not pleased. They all suffer brokenness and some death due to their rejection of God and their embrace of living in the flesh and love of self. There are real consequences for the choices we make.

Though we do not see these individuals repent and turn toward God and away from sin, God reaffirms to us His grace and forgiveness in that  we know that God chose to come into the world in the person of Jesus Christ through the tribe of Judah, despite this wicked history in the tribe. God does not choose us by merit… praise God! If He did so, we would all surely fail. God chooses us through grace and mercy (not giving us the punishment we deserve).

For any of us who have brokenness in our past or in our lives today we can be encouraged. God can still use us and our families! Turn toward Him today and away from doing things for the flesh or for self. Change your behaviors and attitudes to do things God’s way. Ask His forgiveness and make Jesus the Lord of your life.

God can use you no matter what situation you are in or have experienced in the past!

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Have you submitted your life to Jesus Christ? If you die today, do you know for sure that you would be with God in heaven? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

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Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Blessed, Can God Use Me?, Consequences of Sin, Family, Hearing from God, Obeying God, Prophecy

God Can Use Us Even Though We Make Many Mistakes

Are you living your life without making mistakes?  Do you have it all figured out? If you answered yes, than… quite frankly… you are wrong. None except Jesus Himself live the perfect life.  Even among those of us who wholeheartedly seek after and submit to God, we can only do our best and ask God for His help to live according to His commands. For those of you who answered “no”… the good news is that God can use us even though we make mistakes.

Let us explore two sides of Jacob’s life in Genesis 35:9-22. Jacob has such a personal relationship with God, that God continually appears to him and communicates important things and Jacob receives this instruction and follows it. God tells Jacob once again that he will now be called Israel and again reinforces the promise and prophecy that many nations shall come from him.

However we see also, that even this great moment for Jacob in the presence of God is experienced in the midst of his continuing family struggles for which he seems to be at a loss to be able to solve in order to more effectively lead his family.  We learned in Genesis 34 and earlier in Genesis 35 that Jacob settled and remained in an ungodly land. His daughter was raped, his sons used treachery and deceit to kill many as punishment to the one who mistreated their sister, and as his household packs up to leave, Jacob finds idols and foreign gods among them. They were not pure, not holy (set apart for God’s use), but rather had blended with the pagans around them to some extent.

Jacob Is Named Israel

      9Then God appeared to Jacob again when he came from Paddan-aram, and He blessed him.

10God said to him,
“Your name is Jacob;
You shall no longer be called Jacob,
But Israel shall be your name.”
Thus He called him Israel.

11God also said to him,
“I am God Almighty;
Be fruitful and multiply;
A nation and a company of nations shall come from you,
And kings shall come forth from you.

      12“The land which I gave to Abraham and Isaac,
I will give it to you,
And I will give the land to your descendants after you.”

13Then God went up from him in the place where He had spoken with him. 14Jacob set up a pillar in the place where He had spoken with him, a pillar of stone, and he poured out a drink offering on it; he also poured oil on it. 15So Jacob named the place where God had spoken with him, Bethel.

      16Then they journeyed from Bethel; and when there was still some distance to go to Ephrath, Rachel began to give birth and she suffered severe labor. 17When she was in severe labor the midwife said to her, “Do not fear, for now you have another son.” 18It came about as her soul was departing (for she died), that she named him Ben-oni; but his father called him Benjamin. 19So Rachel died and was buried on the way to Ephrath (that is, Bethlehem). 20Jacob set up a pillar over her grave; that is the pillar of Rachel’s grave to this day. 21Then Israel journeyed on and pitched his tent beyond the tower of Eder.

      22It came about while Israel was dwelling in that land, that Reuben went and lay with Bilhah his father’s concubine, and Israel heard of it.

We see Jacob again hit hard by family trouble in verse 22, when his eldest son has sex with Jacob’s concubine. This was a huge disgrace for all involved. I am sure Reuben thought “no one will know”… but that is rarely the case among people when we sin… and God always knows. Of course, we could also have quite a discussion on why Jacob even had concubines… this is not consistent with God’s plan for marriage. From the beginning, with Adam and Eve, God intended it to be one man and one woman in marriage… no extra wives, no concubines.

Studying earlier points in Jacob’s life, we see that leading his family to honor God in their daily lives and relationships is not a new struggle for Jacob. In fact his wives struggled badly when they married him, competing with one another rather than showing love within his household. Ultimately this jealousy resulted in his failure by sleeping with their maid servants all in pursuit of sons. Go back further and we see where he had to run away from home to get away from an angry brother who wanted to kill him, after Jacob deceived his aging father to receive a blessing which Isaac intended for Esau. It goes even further back… Isaac and Rebekah chose favorites in their family, each openly loving one son more than the other.

Suffice it to say, that Jacob did not have every aspect of his life together and going well. So what is my point? Why do I point this failure of Jacob’s out?

First, we can all take heart and be encouraged that God can use us, can have intimate relationship with us, even when our lives are not entirely in order. We must, however, be submitted to God, as Jacob was. We can not be in open rebellion to God, intentionally disregarding His commands in how we are to live.

Secondly, even when we are walking with God in our lives and hearing from Him, we should take heed to purify ourselves, our family, our household. Consciously choose to submit to God and to follow His ways. Study the Bible and apply what it teaches to your lives. Change your ways to be set apart for God rather than to blend with the ungodly around you. There are consequences to leaving sin in our lives. Consider the mess that Jacob’s family experienced. It was not “God punishing them”, but rather it was natural consequences for not living God’s way. God tells us how to live, but we must choose to do so or live with the consequences.

Do not be complacent just because you have a relationship with God but rather use that relationship as a strong foundation to transform your life and that of your family to reflect God’s values and God’s will in every aspect of your life. Seeking to change our lives to live according to God’s instructions is not a one time adjustment, but rather a difficult and intentional journey that will last the rest of our lives.

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Have you submitted your life to Jesus Christ? If you die today, do you know for sure that you would be with God in heaven? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

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Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Children, Consequences of Sin, Holy / Set Apart, Parenting, Wickedness / Evil

Living Amongst Ungodly People Carries Great Risk

We continue with Jacob as he has settled his family in Shechem. He has grown in his relationship with God over many years, but the people of the land in which he settled did not know or fear God. Living amongst the ungodly carries risk and requires intentional safeguards to protect your family. We see in Genesis 34:1-31 where Jacob’s family experiences this the hard way.

      1Now Dinah the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the daughters of the land. 2When Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, the prince of the land, saw her, he took her and lay with her by force. 3He was deeply attracted to Dinah the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the girl and spoke tenderly to her. 4So Shechem spoke to his father Hamor, saying, “Get me this young girl for a wife.” 5Now Jacob heard that he had defiled Dinah his daughter; but his sons were with his livestock in the field, so Jacob kept silent until they came in. 6Then Hamor the father of Shechem went out to Jacob to speak with him. 7Now the sons of Jacob came in from the field when they heard it; and the men were grieved, and they were very angry because he had done a disgraceful thing in Israel by lying with Jacob’s daughter, for such a thing ought not to be done.

      8But Hamor spoke with them, saying, “The soul of my son Shechem longs for your daughter; please give her to him in marriage. 9“Intermarry with us; give your daughters to us and take our daughters for yourselves. 10“Thus you shall live with us, and the land shall be open before you; live and trade in it and acquire property in it.” 11Shechem also said to her father and to her brothers, “If I find favor in your sight, then I will give whatever you say to me. 12“Ask me ever so much bridal payment and gift, and I will give according as you say to me; but give me the girl in marriage.”

      13But Jacob’s sons answered Shechem and his father Hamor with deceit, because he had defiled Dinah their sister. 14They said to them, “We cannot do this thing, to give our sister to one who is uncircumcised, for that would be a disgrace to us. 15“Only on this condition will we consent to you: if you will become like us, in that every male of you be circumcised, 16then we will give our daughters to you, and we will take your daughters for ourselves, and we will live with you and become one people. 17“But if you will not listen to us to be circumcised, then we will take our daughter and go.”

      18Now their words seemed reasonable to Hamor and Shechem, Hamor’s son. 19The young man did not delay to do the thing, because he was delighted with Jacob’s daughter. Now he was more respected than all the household of his father. 20So Hamor and his son Shechem came to the gate of their city and spoke to the men of their city, saying, 21“These men are friendly with us; therefore let them live in the land and trade in it, for behold, the land is large enough for them. Let us take their daughters in marriage, and give our daughters to them. 22“Only on this condition will the men consent to us to live with us, to become one people: that every male among us be circumcised as they are circumcised. 23“Will not their livestock and their property and all their animals be ours? Only let us consent to them, and they will live with us.” 24All who went out of the gate of his city listened to Hamor and to his son Shechem, and every male was circumcised, all who went out of the gate of his city.

      25Now it came about on the third day, when they were in pain, that two of Jacob’s sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, each took his sword and came upon the city unawares, and killed every male. 26They killed Hamor and his son Shechem with the edge of the sword, and took Dinah from Shechem’s house, and went forth. 27Jacob’s sons came upon the slain and looted the city, because they had defiled their sister. 28They took their flocks and their herds and their donkeys, and that which was in the city and that which was in the field; 29and they captured and looted all their wealth and all their little ones and their wives, even all that was in the houses. 30Then Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, “You have brought trouble on me by making me odious among the inhabitants of the land, among the Canaanites and the Perizzites; and my men being few in number, they will gather together against me and attack me and I will be destroyed, I and my household.” 31But they said, “Should he treat our sister as a harlot?”

You can clearly have a lively debate around the way in which Jacob’s sons responded. I am not endorsing their response, but they were right that the situation was not acceptable… that marrying Dinah to an ungodly man who remained unrepentant for his actions of raping her… and then intermarrying and blending their family with other ungodly people would be a big mistake. Ultimately we will see in Genesis 35 that Jacob and his family move away from this land to another at God’s instruction.

We are left to wonder… could this whole event have been prevented if Jacob would have shown greater wisdom in choosing where to settle, whether to remain there after he saw what the people were like, or perhaps prepared his children more effectively to recognize the risk and consequences of socializing and blending with these ungodly people. Only after much pain and suffering does Jacob finally determine that he needs to move his family.

We can likely infer from the text that Dinah did not seek permission from her father or brothers before going to “visit the daughters of the land”. Having reviewed several commentaries on this scripture at BibleHub.com, it may be reasonable to assume Dinah was between 12-16 years old. Knowing the land was ungodly, it seems unlikely that Jacob would send her out without guard or escort. We can also clearly see from scripture that her brothers were very protective of her. Likely Dinah sneaked out without permission to go see what the local culture was like and to watch and learn about the women of the land.

Dinah, like most girls or young women, was safest amongst a loving family. Her curiosity to socialize with the pagans around her and learn their ways led her out of safety into harm, ultimately putting her whole family at risk.

Much of the world pushes for multiculturalism, for blending many cultures together as if it is a virtue. It is not. God wants us to be pure and holy, set apart for God, living according to His word and rejecting other wrong ways of living. To invite blending and socializing with those who do not know God… who reject God or worship false gods… is a big mistake and carries great risk. Whether it is a direct violent act that my occur, as with Dinah, or just taking focus away from doing things God’s ways and instead doing things like the ungodly do… the damage can be significant. Often efforts to blend cultures basically teach children that all ways are fine, and they do not need to do things the right way… God’s way. This ultimately separates them from God.

Today in the US and much of Europe, many push for mass immigration of those who reject Judeo-Christian values and come with such a violence in the name of their religion that they refuse to assimilate, but rather commit many acts of violence on others. They have no respect for those who do not share their false religion. God wants us to be separate from them in order to be holy and set apart for God.

The United States of America was founded as a nation with Christian values by Christians seeking to worship the true God freely. Continuous blending with non believers has not been a strength, but rather a source of degradation of the moral character of the nation over hundreds of years. Our nation is more and more unrecognizable for its proper application of Christian values. It is truly a blend of ungodly customs and culture even among many who profess to be Christian. As a nation, we have forgotten what it really means to follow Christ by submitting our lives to Him.

Many cry out for the need to socialize, randomly, your children with others in public schools and other forums. God never wanted us to be so careless with our children. Instead, carefully choose to whom, to what, and in what controlled situations you expose your children to those you do not know well. Most in our nation do not live according to what the Bible teaches and seem to feel compelled to pull others away from Biblical truth toward popular cultural so as to feel comfortable living that way themselves.

Children are a great gift. Take good care of them and protect them. Teach them why you expose them or protect them from certain things. Make sure you have open communication to help them understand more than the rules but also the reasons and possible consequences. Do not keep them in an imaginary world in which you tell them everyone is nice and good and nothing bad happens. It is not true and it sets them up to make poor decisions and to be hurt. We can only speculate, but perhaps Dinah would have made a better decision if she understood more clearly and bluntly what the risks were of seeking to “visit” a pagan culture of people who have no fear of God.

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Have you submitted your life to Jesus Christ? If you die today, do you know for sure that you would be with God in heaven? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

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Addiction, Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage

HFJ News: Resources to Help You Regarding Sex and Relationships

We are continuing our weekly Friday extra post of “HFJ News” which is intended to introduce our Christian community to different parts of the website that many find useful.  Links are provided for your convenience or you can just visit the site directly at HearingFromJesus.org and look around on your own.

This week we are highlighting resources available on Josh McDowell Ministry website to help with Sex and Relationships. Please click through to the site and review the many resources and organizations available to help those who may be struggling with this all too common set of problems.  I have not personally vetted these resources, but even if I did… as always, you should test everything against the truth of scripture no matte who it comes from.

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Josh McDowell Ministry

Resources to Help You Regarding Sex & Relationships

You know the importance of saying the words “I love you” but building a lifelong love can be so much more. Find resources to help with strengthening your relationships as well as the confidence to guide your kids into a healthy understanding of God’s gift of sex. Find help with addictions and abuse.

Find help for:

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Have you submitted your life to Jesus Christ? If you die today, do you know for sure that you would be with God in heaven? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

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Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Consequences of Sin, Hebrew Roots / Commands / Law, Homosexual Behavior, Marriage

The Immoral Man Sins Against His Own Body

God’s design for sex is for it to be a wonderful and intimate part of a marriage between one man and one woman. It is as physical aspect of the two becoming one that helps to bring them together on more than just a physical act. It is a gift of pleasure from God to His people that helps a husband and wife to share a very personal relationship that is just between them, different from relationship with all others.

Sadly, though, those who are of the world rise up to defend sexual immorality instead of respecting God’s instruction. They twist scripture to do so… or often just reject scripture all together. They constantly change what is acceptable trying to always move farther from God’s word and embrace their own sin nature which seeks after the deceptions of Satan.  They proclaim sex outside marriage is good, they rationalize adultery, they cheer on homosexual marriage despite God’s clear condemnation, and they will not stop there. Once you disregard God’s clear and holy standard… there is no other logical stopping point. If we disregard God’s instruction, what is to say marriage or sex with children or animals is wrong… what is the absolute standard and on whose authority does it rest?

The truth is that all of these immoral practices that violate God’s clear commands are wrong and damaging to the people who commit them and to others. God’s instructions exist because He loves us and wants what is best for us.

1 Corinthians 6:13-20

13Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food, but God will do away with both of them. Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body. 14Now God has not only raised the Lord, but will also raise us up through His power. 15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! 16Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, “The two shall become one flesh.” 17But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. 18Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. 19Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? 20For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

Romans 1:18-32

     18For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, 19because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. 20For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. 21For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. 22Professing to be wise, they became fools, 23and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures.

      24Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them. 25For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.

      26For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, 27and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.

      28And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, 29being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, 30slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; 32and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them.

God loves us and set forth His instructions and commands to us because He wants what is best for us. He is guiding and protecting us … giving us freedom in His instructions rather than bondage to our sin nature.

God providing detailed instructions is not an over-controlling micro manager… no! God provides instruction as one who leads us through a minefield, carefully instructing us in the way we should go and the way we should not go so we may navigate it safely, without getting destroyed. In fact, He did not just provide a map, a written record, but rather actually became man to dwell among us and show us personally how to get through the minefield. Yes… God loves us that much!

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Have you submitted your life to Jesus Christ? If you die today, do you know for sure that you would be with God in heaven? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

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Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Consequences of Sin, Hebrew Roots / Commands / Law, Marriage

Let Your Wife Be a Fountain of Blessing

God uses Proverbs 5 to provide a crystal clear and stern warning for men who are in the midst of adultery or considering adultery. This scripture serves as a  warning also for immoral women who would participate in adultery. Finally, God reminds us to enjoy His gift of sex within the context of a godly marriage between a man and a woman… let your wife be a fountain of blessing to you.

5 My son, pay attention to my wisdom;
    listen carefully to my wise counsel.
2 Then you will show discernment,
    and your lips will express what you’ve learned.
3 For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey,
    and her mouth is smoother than oil.
4 But in the end she is as bitter as poison,
    as dangerous as a double-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death;
    her steps lead straight to the grave.[a]
6 For she cares nothing about the path to life.
    She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn’t realize it.

7 So now, my sons, listen to me.
    Never stray from what I am about to say:
8 Stay away from her!
    Don’t go near the door of her house!
9 If you do, you will lose your honor
    and will lose to merciless people all you have achieved.
10 Strangers will consume your wealth,
    and someone else will enjoy the fruit of your labor.
11 In the end you will groan in anguish
    when disease consumes your body.
12 You will say, “How I hated discipline!
    If only I had not ignored all the warnings!
13 Oh, why didn’t I listen to my teachers?
    Why didn’t I pay attention to my instructors?
14 I have come to the brink of utter ruin,
    and now I must face public disgrace.”

15 Drink water from your own well—
    share your love only with your wife.[b]
16 Why spill the water of your springs in the streets,
    having sex with just anyone?[c]
17 You should reserve it for yourselves.
    Never share it with strangers.

18 Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.
    Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 She is a loving deer, a graceful doe.
    Let her breasts satisfy you always.
    May you always be captivated by her love.
20 Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman,
    or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman?

21 For the Lord sees clearly what a man does,
    examining every path he takes.
22 An evil man is held captive by his own sins;
    they are ropes that catch and hold him.
23 He will die for lack of self-control;
    he will be lost because of his great foolishness.

Self control and discipline are essential elements for a Christian life. We must know God’s word and be prepared to follow it. We must make decisions ahead of time, before times of temptation, to decide how we will respond. Will we subject ourselves to situations that lead to temptation, or flee from temptation as Joseph did in Genesis 39:10-12.

10 She kept putting pressure on Joseph day after day, but he refused to sleep with her, and he kept out of her way as much as possible. 11 One day, however, no one else was around when he went in to do his work. 12 She came and grabbed him by his cloak, demanding, “Come on, sleep with me!” Joseph tore himself away, but he left his cloak in her hand as he ran from the house.

Joseph honored God by holding to godly wisdom and values.  He was not worried about being subtle in refusing temptation. He wanted to resist temptation and quickly. He took decisive action.

God also reminds us in Proverbs 5 that we should absolutely enjoy sex within the context of a godly marriage.  After all, God created it as a wonderful part of relationship of man and wife as the two become one.

For those of you who may be in the midst of adultery and maybe only now realize how wrong it is… stop. Stop the immoral behavior immediately. Repent of your sin before God and your spouse. Run from it and never return.

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Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Hebrew Roots / Commands / Law, Marriage

Seek a Godly Marriage Rather Than Divorce

Jesus speaks clearly on the covenant and commitment of marriage in Matthew 5:31-32 and Matthew 19:3-9.

[Matthew 5:31-32]  

31 “You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’[m] 32 But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.

[Matthew 19:3-10]

3 Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?”

4 “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’[a]” 5 And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’[b] 6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

7 “Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?”[c] they asked.

8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. 9 And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.[d]”

A marriage covenant based on God’s word is to be taken very seriously. When there are difficulties, we are called to work through them in a godly way, not to harden our hearts and seek divorce.

Jesus also highlights in both scriptures how damaging adultery is to a marriage, by calling it out as an exception to His statement. Do not misunderstand this though, many who have suffered through adultery in a marriage can, with the help of Jesus, overcome that sin and betrayal and still build a godly marriage from it based out of true repentance.

The Bible provides insight in building godly marriages, even when husband and wife do not both know God equally. At www.HearingFromJesus.org, we also provide some links on our website to ministries and to resources (e.g. books, etc.) that focus on godly marriage.

One more important reminder… work proactively to build a godly marriage even before you experience trouble in your marriage.

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Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Hebrew Roots / Commands / Law

Avoid Even Adulterous Thoughts

While teaching to the crowds during the Sermon on the Mount, as documented in Matthew 5:27-30, Jesus powerfully clarifies the commandment about not committing adultery to show us how high God’s standard is for us.

27 “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’[a] 28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 So if your eye—even your good eye[b]—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your hand—even your stronger hand[c]—causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

Jesus is not telling us to poke out our eye to overcome adultery. He is, however, clearly telling us how important it is for us to fight sinful thoughts rather than dwell on them. Do not accept lustful thoughts thinking “I am not physically committing adultery, so it is ok to think about it.” Avoid, fight or flee from lustful thoughts or situations.

There are at least two good reasons for doing so:

  • Our thoughts ultimately guide our actions. If we dwell on sinful thoughts it can lead us to sinful behaviors.
  • Even just accepting the sin in our minds, if we never act on the behavior, can have a damaging effect on our relationship with our spouse or with God.

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Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Creation, Free Will, Homosexual Behavior, Marriage, Sin

God Formed the Man From the Dust

Genesis 2:5-25 provides a lot of important details about God’s creation of man (and woman) that may be easy overlook. Try to avoid reading this scripture too quickly just because it is something we may think we know well. Spend time thinking about what it means… and how to apply it in your life.

When the Lord God made the earth and the heavens, 5 neither wild plants nor grains were growing on the earth. For the Lord God had not yet sent rain to water the earth, and there were no people to cultivate the soil. 6 Instead, springs[b] came up from the ground and watered all the land. 7 Then the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person.

8 Then the Lord God planted a garden in Eden in the east, and there he placed the man he had made. 9 The Lord God made all sorts of trees grow up from the ground—trees that were beautiful and that produced delicious fruit. In the middle of the garden he placed the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

10 A river flowed from the land of Eden, watering the garden and then dividing into four branches. 11 The first branch, called the Pishon, flowed around the entire land of Havilah, where gold is found. 12 The gold of that land is exceptionally pure; aromatic resin and onyx stone are also found there. 13 The second branch, called the Gihon, flowed around the entire land of Cush. 14 The third branch, called the Tigris, flowed east of the land of Asshur. The fourth branch is called the Euphrates.

15 The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it. 16 But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— 17 except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.”

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” 19 So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man[c] to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. 20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.

21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs[d] and closed up the opening. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.

23 “At last!” the man exclaimed.

“This one is bone from my bone,
    and flesh from my flesh!
She will be called ‘woman,’
    because she was taken from ‘man.’”

24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

25 Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.

Here are a few of my observations:

  • God created man and man was special in his relationship with God, above the rest of God’s creation.
  • God created a place to meet man’s physical needs… a beautiful, well watered garden.
  • God created purpose for man… to watch over the garden.
  • God gave man free will and then also gave him clear instructions on what he should do and what he should not do… and what would happen to him if he did not obey God’s instruction.
  • God created woman to be the perfect companion to man. It is clear that God intends man and woman to be husband and wife… not marriage between same sex couples. God intended it to be one man and one woman in marriage… not adultery and sexual promiscuity. God did not intend for divorce to be considered. The relationship of husband and wife is to be second only to relationship with God and should be held above prior relationships with parents or friends.
  • There was not yet any shame… thus no sin at that point. Sin came later through the decision of Adam and Eve to disobey God and eat from the tree He told them not to. God did not create sin, he gave man free will and thus created the opportunity for sin. However, without free will there is also no love or relationship.

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