Category Archives: Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage

Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Discipline / Guidance From God, Grace / Forgiveness, Hope, Hypocrisy, Idols / False Gods, Justice / Judgment

The Call to Repentance: Facing the Reality of Our Sin (Hosea 5)

Have you ever felt like God is distant or that His blessings are out of reach? Hosea 5 gives us a sobering reminder that when we persist in sin without repentance, we experience a spiritual separation from God. But it also points us to the need for genuine repentance and a return to Him.

Key Verse: “When they go with their flocks and herds to seek the LORD, they will not find Him; He has withdrawn Himself from them.” – Hosea 5:6 (NASB)

Background Context: Hosea was a prophet to the northern kingdom of Israel, also known as Ephraim. In Hosea 5, God delivers a message of judgment against Israel and Judah, warning them about the consequences of their persistent sin and unfaithfulness. Despite God’s repeated calls to repentance, the people continued in idolatry, pride, and rebellion. Hosea’s message in this chapter is both a warning and a call to recognize their need for God and turn back to Him.

(Summarized and continued after scripture)

Hosea 5

The People’s Apostasy Rebuked

1Hear this, O priests!
Give heed, O house of Israel!
Listen, O house of the king!
For the judgment applies to you,
For you have been a snare at Mizpah
And a net spread out on Tabor.

      2The revolters have gone deep in depravity,
But I will chastise all of them.

3I know Ephraim, and Israel is not hidden from Me;
For now, O Ephraim, you have played the harlot,
Israel has defiled itself.

4Their deeds will not allow them
To return to their God.
For a spirit of harlotry is within them,
And they do not know the LORD.

5Moreover, the pride of Israel testifies against him,
And Israel and Ephraim stumble in their iniquity;
Judah also has stumbled with them.

6They will go with their flocks and herds
To seek the LORD, but they will not find Him;
He has withdrawn from them.

7They have dealt treacherously against the LORD,
For they have borne illegitimate children.
Now the new moon will devour them with their land.

8Blow the horn in Gibeah,
The trumpet in Ramah.
Sound an alarm at Beth-aven:
“Behind you, Benjamin!”

9Ephraim will become a desolation in the day of rebuke;
Among the tribes of Israel I declare what is sure.

10The princes of Judah have become like those who move a boundary;
On them I will pour out My wrath like water.

11Ephraim is oppressed, crushed in judgment,
Because he was determined to follow man’s command.

12Therefore I am like a moth to Ephraim
And like rottenness to the house of Judah.

13When Ephraim saw his sickness,
And Judah his wound,
Then Ephraim went to Assyria
And sent to King Jareb.
But he is unable to heal you,
Or to cure you of your wound.

14For I will be like a lion to Ephraim
And like a young lion to the house of Judah.
I, even I, will tear to pieces and go away,
I will carry away, and there will be none to deliver.

15I will go away and return to My place
Until they acknowledge their guilt and seek My face;
In their affliction they will earnestly seek Me.

Reflection on Hosea 5:

  • Spiritual Adultery and Its Consequences: God charges Israel with “spiritual adultery” because they had turned to idols instead of remaining faithful to Him. The people of Israel had allowed idolatry to infiltrate their lives, affecting both their worship and their actions. In verse 3, God declares, “I know Ephraim, and Israel is not hidden from Me.” This means that God sees everything. He is fully aware of their actions and the state of their hearts. Just as He knew Israel’s sins, He knows ours as well. Nothing is hidden from God. We may try to cover up or ignore our sin, but God sees and calls us to repentance. Are there areas in your life where you are compromising your devotion to God? Now is the time to bring them before Him and seek His forgiveness.
  • The Illusion of Seeking God Without True Repentance: In verse 6, God says, “When they go with their flocks and herds to seek the LORD, they will not find Him; He has withdrawn Himself from them.” The people of Israel were still going through the motions of religious rituals, but their hearts were far from God. They thought they could appease God with sacrifices while continuing in their sin. God desires a sincere relationship with His people, not empty rituals. This passage warns us that religious activity without genuine repentance and obedience is meaningless. We cannot expect God’s favor if we are unwilling to turn away from sin and walk in His ways. Are you going through the motions of faith without a real heart for God? He is calling you to true repentance, which leads to transformation and a restored relationship with Him.
  • The Reality of God’s Judgment: Hosea 5 speaks plainly about the consequences of Israel’s sin. God’s judgment is depicted as a lion, tearing away and then withdrawing, leaving Israel to face the consequences of their actions (Hosea 5:14). God’s discipline is not intended to destroy but to wake His people up to the seriousness of their sin. Sometimes, God allows us to experience the painful consequences of our choices so that we can see our need for Him. It is a call to self-examination and humility. Have you been experiencing consequences that might be God’s way of drawing you back to Him? Instead of resisting, allow those moments to bring you to repentance and a deeper reliance on God’s grace.
  • The Hope of Repentance and Restoration: Despite the heavy message of judgment, Hosea’s prophecy holds hope. In the last verse of the chapter, God speaks about withdrawing “until they acknowledge their guilt and seek My face; in their distress they will earnestly seek Me” (Hosea 5:15). God’s goal is not to abandon His people but to bring them to a place where they recognize their need for Him and seek Him with a genuine heart. This is a message of hope for all of us: no matter how far we have strayed, God is waiting for us to turn back to Him. True repentance opens the door to forgiveness, healing, and restoration. Are you ready to turn back to God with a sincere heart? He is ready to receive you, no matter where you’ve been.

Summary Key Points:

  • Spiritual Adultery Separates Us from God: Just as Israel’s unfaithfulness led to a separation from God, sin in our lives disrupts our relationship with Him. We must be willing to confront and repent of our sin.
  • Religious Rituals Without True Repentance Are Empty: God is not impressed by religious activity if our hearts are not truly seeking Him. He desires sincere worship that is rooted in repentance and obedience.
  • God’s Discipline Is Meant to Lead Us Back to Him: Sometimes, God allows us to face the consequences of our actions as a way to draw us back to Him. His discipline is a call to wake up and return to His loving embrace.
  • There Is Hope in Repentance: No matter how far we’ve strayed, God is waiting for us to turn back to Him. True repentance leads to restoration and a renewed relationship with our Heavenly Father.

Application: Take a moment to reflect on your life and ask God to reveal any areas where you have been unfaithful to Him. Are there habits, thoughts, or actions that have led you away from His will? Confess them to God and ask for His forgiveness. Commit to genuine repentance, which involves turning away from sin and walking in obedience to Him. If you have been going through the motions of religious activity without a sincere heart for God, ask Him to renew your passion for Him and to help you worship Him in spirit and truth. Remember that God’s desire is to restore and heal, not to condemn. He is ready to welcome you back with open arms.

Closing Prayer: Heavenly Father, we come before You acknowledging our need for Your mercy and grace. We confess that we have not always been faithful to You, and we ask for Your forgiveness. Help us to turn away from our sins and to seek You with sincere hearts. Thank You for Your patience and for the hope of restoration that You offer to those who repent. Renew our passion for You, and let our lives be a reflection of Your love and truth. Draw us closer to You, Lord, and help us to walk in obedience to Your Word. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

May the grace and peace of our Lord, Yeshua, be with you.

John Golda

Do you know for sure if you will go to heaven or hell when you die? Are you experiencing in your life the peace and joy of a personal relationship with our Creator and Father? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Guide, Holy / Set Apart, Homosexual Behavior

Embracing Holiness in a World Filled with Impurity (1 Thessalonians 4:1-8)

Step into the illuminating words of 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8, where Paul beckons believers to embrace holiness in a world filled with impurity.

Join us on a transformative journey through these verses as we explore the timeless call to live a life pleasing to God, navigating the challenges of a world often at odds with the pursuit of spiritual purity.

1 Thessalonians 4:1-8

Sanctification

      1Finally then, brethren, we request and exhort you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us instruction as to how you ought to walk and please God (just as you actually do walk), that you excel still more. 2For you know what commandments we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. 3For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. 7For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. 8So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.

Summary of Key Points:

  1. The Call to Live Pleasing Lives: In these verses, Paul passionately urges the Thessalonian believers to continue living lives that are pleasing to God. He emphasizes the importance of following the instructions they received, establishing a foundation for holy living.
  2. The Pursuit of Holiness: Paul underscores the significance of holiness in the life of a believer. The call is not merely to avoid impurity but to actively pursue holiness, setting themselves apart in a manner that reflects their commitment to God’s standards.
  3. Respecting Boundaries in Relationships: A key theme in these verses is the need for believers to exercise self-control and honor the sanctity of relationships. Paul encourages them to avoid sexual immorality and to conduct themselves with integrity, respecting the boundaries set by God.
  4. The Rejection of Impurity: These verses highlight the contrast between the purity God desires and the impurity that characterizes the behavior of those who do not know God. Paul urges believers to reject impurity and embrace the holiness that aligns with God’s will.

As we dive into the profound counsel of 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8, let’s reflect on the call to embrace holiness in a world yearning for purity.

How do we navigate the challenges of living pleasing lives in a society often at odds with spiritual values?

Take a moment for self-reflection and prayer, considering how these verses resonate with your own journey toward holiness.

Additionally, share your insights on the pursuit of holiness and the importance of respecting boundaries in our relationships with a friend or family member.

These verses invite us not only to reject impurity but also to actively seek the path of holiness, aligning our lives with God’s standards.

Join the conversation, and let’s explore together the transformative power embedded in this timeless call to holiness.

May the grace and peace of our Lord, Yeshua, be with you. John

Do you know for sure if you will go to heaven or hell when you die? Are you experiencing in your life the peace and joy of a personal relationship with our Creator and Father? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Complaining, Homosexual Behavior, Idols / False Gods, Thankfulness

Avoid These Common Mistakes that Displease God

Just because we claim the name of Jesus as Lord or we are baptized does not mean that we are living our lives in a way that is fully pleasing to our Creator and Father. Often, even after we genuinely start pursuing Christ and submitting to Him, we still have areas of sin in our lives that need to be dealt with. Sometimes we have blind spots where we listen to the culture around us instead of God’s word about what is right and wrong.

1 Corinthians 10:1-14

Avoid Israel’s Mistakes

     1For I do not want you to be unaware, brethren, that our fathers were all under the cloud and all passed through the sea; 2and all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea; 3and all ate the same spiritual food; 4and all drank the same spiritual drink, for they were drinking from a spiritual rock which followed them; and the rock was Christ. 5Nevertheless, with most of them God was not well-pleased; for they were laid low in the wilderness.

      6Now these things happened as examples for us, so that we would not crave evil things as they also craved. 7Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written, “THE PEOPLE SAT DOWN TO EAT AND DRINK, AND STOOD UP TO PLAY.” 8Nor let us act immorally, as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in one day. 9Nor let us try the Lord, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the serpents. 10Nor grumble, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the destroyer. 11Now these things happened to them as an example, and they were written for our instruction, upon whom the ends of the ages have come. 12Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall. 13No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

Take care not to consider idolatry to narrowly. People make idols out of many things… false gods to be sure, but also the environment, other created things such as money, sports, self, another person… it is placing something in our heart where we are focused on it instead of the right focus of God.

Consider immorality by God’s definition, not by the definition of our culture. Man today continues to redefine what is immorality through courts and television and other means but God’s position on what is moral or immoral has not and will not change.  Sex outside of marriage is wrong. Marriage is designed for and constrained to a man and a woman. It is not complicated until man tries to change it to avoid confronting his sin.

Do not overlook grumbling. Yes, even grumbling is a sign of lacking faith and trust in our Father. It is a sign of an ungrateful heart that takes for granted what blessings the Father has already poured out on us. Praise Him more and stop grumbling, even when things are tough.

Let us each take on the challenge to honestly confront our attitudes and actions and compare them to Paul’s warnings from 1 Corinthians. Do not be complacent because of a one-time decision to follow Christ. Instead, seek Him daily and seek to keep changing yourself to be more in His image. Let us keep a thankful heart and praise Him for who He is and what He has already done for us, regardless of our situation!

Take a few minutes with God in prayer. Ask Him to show you any areas in your life in which you need to change. Then, take action to change!

Shalom. May the grace and peace of our Lord, Yeshua, be with you. Devotion by John in service to Christ

 

Do you know for sure if you will go to heaven or hell when you die? Are you experiencing in your life the peace and joy of a personal relationship with our Creator and Father? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

 

Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Marriage, Self Control

Sex Is a Gift in the Context of Marriage

The sexual drive in men and women is given by God as part of who we are. Paul commented specifically in this regard in 1 Corinthians 7. It is good for a man or woman to be single and focused on God rather than married if that is their personal gifting from God. It will allow them to serve Him in a more focused way. However, God makes each of us different. For many, the drive for sex is wonderful inside the gift of marriage, but if they try to remain single, that same gift will instead lead to great temptation and potentially to immoral behavior.

Inside marriage, we must use this gift well as a way of bonding with our spouse. Sex or withholding of sex is not to be used as a “weapon” to get one’s own way or win an argument. This is plainly wrong. Marriages are strongest when sex is used to serve and bond with one another.  Truly this helps two become one as God intends.

Once married, we should not divorce. It has always been God’s plan to have one man and one woman together in marriage. We are to choose carefully and prayerfully and then focus all our effort on serving each other and building / maintaining a strong marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:1-11

Teaching on Marriage

      1Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. 3The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6But this I say by way of concession, not of command. 7Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.

      8But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. 9But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

      10But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband 11(but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

Take care not to overlook the Biblical view on sex drive. It can be a powerful bonding in strengthening a marriage. It is a gift from God and not something to be scorned or mocked. But it is also not something to be abused by using it outside of marriage.

—-

Have you submitted your life to Jesus Christ? Are you living today with the peace and joy of truly knowing and following Jesus Christ? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Disobeying, Rebelling Against, Ignoring God, Holy / Set Apart, Homosexual Behavior, Self Control, Worldliness

Flee Sexual Immorality; Our Body Is for the LORD

Today we reflect on a simple, but profound principle in God’s word. Do not read this quickly. Dwell on it. It is more than just taking good care of our body physically. Our bodies belong to the Lord. They are not made for immorality. The body is for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. Let us not abuse what God has given us with immorality and sin.

1 Corinthians 6:9-20

9Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, 10nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor those habitually drunk, nor verbal abusers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. 11Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.

The Body Is the Lord’s

      12All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. 13Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food, but God will do away with both of them. Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body. 14Now God has not only raised the Lord, but will also raise us up through His power. 15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! 16Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, “THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.” 17But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. 18Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. 19Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? 20For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

Do not think immorality is constrained to prostitutes as highlighted in the passage above. Immorality involves sexual activity other than between two people who are married in accordance with God’s word. This can take place between two who are not married (fornication), between one who is married with someone other than their spouse (adultery), between two people of the same gender (homosexuality), between close family members (incest), or involving animals (bestiality).  There are scriptures throughout the Bible to back up each of these as immoral and against God’s word.

Our bodies serve as temples for the Holy Spirit who is in us. We are not our own but have been bought with a price. Flee sin and glorify God in your body. Do not give up the kingdom of God for such sin.

9Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?

—-

Have you submitted your life to Jesus Christ? Are you living today filled with the peace and joy of truly knowing and following Jesus Christ? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Marriage, Purposeful / Intentional, Temptation/Tempting

Foundation 5a: Friends of the Opposite Sex (In Marriage)

This is part 5a of a 9-part series I am sharing from Bible.org. (Link to Foundation 5: Conflict Resolution in Marriage.)

Walking through this series with your spouse or future spouse will bring you closer together in understanding one another and God’s intent for marriage.

—Link to Bible.org: 5a. Friends of the Opposite Sex | Bible.org

—Link to PDF: 5a. Article_ Friends of the Opposite Sex_ _ Bible.org

How will you handle friendships with the opposite sex in marriage? This seemingly unimportant issue can often cause great strain and conflict within a marriage.

This topic came up while I was working as a Navy Reserve chaplain at Great Lakes Navy Base. While there, I attended a two-hour group pre-marital counseling session for sailors. The chaplain running the session asked the sailors this question, “How many of you have friends of the opposite sex?” The whole class raised their hands. The next question was, “How many of your fiancés have friends of the opposite sex?” The whole class raised their hands again. Finally, he said, “How many of you plan on keeping it that way?” Each of the sailors looked at each other trying to discern what the right answer was, but eventually, all of them raised their hands again.

The chaplain then began to describe a formula of how relationships develop and progress further than friendship. He said:

I know there are people in here who think their fiancé was the only person in the world they could ever fall in love with. However, let me quickly burst that bubble for you. There is a formula for love, and it is pretty simple. It is having a person of the opposite sex + time together + intimate sharing. Those are the only three things needed for you to become seriously attracted to someone, and it potentially can happen with anyone.

Those of you who plan to keep your friends of the opposite sex, I would highly discourage it. Do you think most people who end up having affairs, initially planned to cheat on their mates? No, many times it happens simply because the couple did not have a rational plan about how they were going to interact with the opposite sex. They began to have fights and then one spouse went to share their problems with a friend of the opposite sex. When this continually happened, it created vulnerability and intimacy, eventually leading to an affair. Or, one mate had a job that required travel while the other stayed home, partied, and hung out with the opposite sex when the mate was away. Again, this produced the simple formula of the opposite sex + time together + intimate sharing, leading to problems.

These are not uncommon scenarios; they happen all the time. To make it worse, throw alcohol into the picture. Then anything could happen. It only takes one drink to lower your inhibitions…

The topic of friendship with the opposite sex is a topic every couple should consider before getting married. Personally, my wife and I talked about this before marriage, and we both agreed it was very difficult, even as a single person, to have a close relationship with the opposite sex without someone’s feelings eventually getting involved. Not impossible, but difficult.

How did we decide to handle it? As a pastor, I have to minister to females, but I am very careful about being alone with them unless it is necessary for confidentiality. When I am going to be alone with a female for an extended period of time, I always try to let my wife know and make sure she approves. If the counseling will be continuous, I will probably ask her to get involved.

In addition, before I got married, one of my best friends was a female, and to be honest, feelings sometimes got involved. However, we never went further than friendship. In marriage, it was very important to me for my wife to become close with this female if my friend was to remain a part of my life. By God’s grace, my wife now has a closer friendship with her than I do. For me, this was the only way my friend and I could continue to have a close relationship. With that said, my relationship with this girl is not even close to where it was previously because now my wife gets all my intimate thoughts, fears, plans, and time alone. That intimacy is reserved for my wife alone. And, by God’s grace, this close friend is now also married, and her intimate thoughts are reserved for her husband.

Consequently, this is a very important issue for couples to discuss and to create a plan for. When not properly addressed, it often becomes a source of conflict and tension within a marriage and sometimes it can be destructive. How will you handle relationships with the opposite sex?

Continue with Foundation 6: Raising Godly Children in Marriage.

I invite you to pray with me:

Father, lead and guide us in our relationships with others so that we would strengthen our marriage and keep it as a set apart relationship in our lives in a way that brings honor and glory to You. Amen. 

 Shalom

Devotion by John in service to Christ

—-

Do you know for sure if you will go to heaven or hell when you die? Are you experiencing in your life the peace and joy of a personal relationship with our Creator and Father? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Marriage, Purposeful / Intentional, Temptation/Tempting

Foundation 5a: Friends of the Opposite Sex (In Marriage)

This is part 5a of a 9-part series I am sharing from Bible.org. (Link to Foundation 5: Conflict Resolution in Marriage.

Walking through this series with your spouse or future spouse will bring you closer together in understanding one another and God’s intent for marriage.

—Link to Bible.org: 5a. Friends of the Opposite Sex | Bible.org

—Link to PDF: 5a. Article_ Friends of the Opposite Sex_ _ Bible.org

How will you handle friendships with the opposite sex in marriage? This seemingly unimportant issue can often cause great strain and conflict within a marriage.

This topic came up while I was working as a Navy Reserve chaplain at Great Lakes Navy Base. While there, I attended a two-hour group pre-marital counseling session for sailors. The chaplain running the session asked the sailors this question, “How many of you have friends of the opposite sex?” The whole class raised their hands. The next question was, “How many of your fiancés have friends of the opposite sex?” The whole class raised their hands again. Finally, he said, “How many of you plan on keeping it that way?” Each of the sailors looked at each other trying to discern what the right answer was, but eventually, all of them raised their hands again.

The chaplain then began to describe a formula of how relationships develop and progress further than friendship. He said:

I know there are people in here who think their fiancé was the only person in the world they could ever fall in love with. However, let me quickly burst that bubble for you. There is a formula for love, and it is pretty simple. It is having a person of the opposite sex + time together + intimate sharing. Those are the only three things needed for you to become seriously attracted to someone, and it potentially can happen with anyone.

Those of you who plan to keep your friends of the opposite sex, I would highly discourage it. Do you think most people who end up having affairs, initially planned to cheat on their mates? No, many times it happens simply because the couple did not have a rational plan about how they were going to interact with the opposite sex. They began to have fights and then one spouse went to share their problems with a friend of the opposite sex. When this continually happened, it created vulnerability and intimacy, eventually leading to an affair. Or, one mate had a job that required travel while the other stayed home, partied, and hung out with the opposite sex when the mate was away. Again, this produced the simple formula of the opposite sex + time together + intimate sharing, leading to problems.

These are not uncommon scenarios; they happen all the time. To make it worse, throw alcohol into the picture. Then anything could happen. It only takes one drink to lower your inhibitions…

The topic of friendship with the opposite sex is a topic every couple should consider before getting married. Personally, my wife and I talked about this before marriage, and we both agreed it was very difficult, even as a single person, to have a close relationship with the opposite sex without someone’s feelings eventually getting involved. Not impossible, but difficult.

How did we decide to handle it? As a pastor, I have to minister to females, but I am very careful about being alone with them unless it is necessary for confidentiality. When I am going to be alone with a female for an extended period of time, I always try to let my wife know and make sure she approves. If the counseling will be continuous, I will probably ask her to get involved.

In addition, before I got married, one of my best friends was a female, and to be honest, feelings sometimes got involved. However, we never went further than friendship. In marriage, it was very important to me for my wife to become close with this female if my friend was to remain a part of my life. By God’s grace, my wife now has a closer friendship with her than I do. For me, this was the only way my friend and I could continue to have a close relationship. With that said, my relationship with this girl is not even close to where it was previously because now my wife gets all my intimate thoughts, fears, plans, and time alone. That intimacy is reserved for my wife alone. And, by God’s grace, this close friend is now also married, and her intimate thoughts are reserved for her husband.

Consequently, this is a very important issue for couples to discuss and to create a plan for. When not properly addressed, it often becomes a source of conflict and tension within a marriage and sometimes it can be destructive. How will you handle relationships with the opposite sex?

Continue with Foundation 6: Raising Godly Children in Marriage.

I invite you to pray with me:

Father, lead and guide us in our relationships with others so that we would strengthen our marriage and keep it as a set apart relationship in our lives in a way that brings honor and glory to You. Amen. 

 Shalom

Devotion by John in service to Christ

—-

Do you know for sure if you will go to heaven or hell when you die? Are you experiencing in your life the peace and joy of a personal relationship with our Creator and Father? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Am I on the path?, Anger (unrighteous anger), Controlling Thoughts, Divorce, Forgive Others / Seek Forgiveness, Grace / Patience, Guide, His Ways Are Not Our Ways, Holy Spirit / Ruach HaKodesh, Humility, Kindness / Gentleness, Murder, Purposeful / Intentional, Self Control, Strife, Submitted / Servant, Teachable, Tongue / Gossip / Slander

Truly Being a Light for Christ May Seem Challenging

Earlier in Matthew 5, Yeshua was teaching about the beatitudes and then about disciples being salt and light and pursuing righteousness. Now he continues to expound on that by speaking about personal relationships. The context is still continuing in the line of how to be salt and light and righteous… we are to act very differently than the world around us. If we truly consider the high standard and take it to heart, it can be intimidating. However, rather than throw up your hands and say “I can’t do that”, simply recognize that this is the goal we should be moving towards and ask the Spirit to help you get there.

Matthew 5:21-48

Personal Relationships

      21“You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT MURDER’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’ 22“But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. 23“Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. 25“Make friends quickly with your opponent at law while you are with him on the way, so that your opponent may not hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. 26“Truly I say to you, you will not come out of there until you have paid up the last cent.      27“You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’; 28but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29“If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30“If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.

31“It was said, ‘WHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE’; 32but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

33“Again, you have heard that the ancients were told, ‘YOU SHALL NOT MAKE FALSE VOWS, BUT SHALL FULFILL YOUR VOWS TO THE LORD.’ 34“But I say to you, make no oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, 35or by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet, or by Jerusalem, for it is THE CITY OF THE GREAT KING. 36“Nor shall you make an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. 37“But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil.

38“You have heard that it was said, ‘AN EYE FOR AN EYE, AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH.’ 39“But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40“If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. 41“Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. 42“Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.

43“You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.’ 44“But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46“For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47“If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48“Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

I do not assume we are to take literally the part about removing our body parts if they cause us to offend, but the language certainly drives home the point. If there are things in our lives, even things dear and close to us, that cause us to stumble before our Father, we should remove them.

Really reflect on the behaviors and the high standard laid out here that is required and desired to separate us and help us stand out as the light to others. We are not to blend in and it is not simply by quoting scripture, but by the very manner in which we live that we are to distinguish ourselves as a light. We truly need help from the Spirit to live it out and we need to remain humble and seek forgiveness along the way as we stumble.

—-

Do you know for sure if you will go to heaven or hell when you die? Are you experiencing in your life the peace and joy of a personal relationship with our Creator and Father? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Consequences of Sin, Family

Consequences of Sin Can Be Very Destructive; Even If We Repent

As we read about the difficulties within David’s family in 2 Samuel 13, let us not overlook or forget that this immediately follows YHWH’s rebuke of David through Nathan in 2 Samuel 12 about the matter where David committed adultery and then murder. The family problems are resulting from David’s sin. Consequences of our sin can be very destructive, even if we repent and are forgiven.

2 Samuel 13

Amnon and Tamar

      1Now it was after this that Absalom the son of David had a beautiful sister whose name was Tamar, and Amnon the son of David loved her. 2Amnon was so frustrated because of his sister Tamar that he made himself ill, for she was a virgin, and it seemed hard to Amnon to do anything to her. 3But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David’s brother; and Jonadab was a very shrewd man. 4He said to him, “O son of the king, why are you so depressed morning after morning? Will you not tell me?” Then Amnon said to him, “I am in love with Tamar, the sister of my brother Absalom.” 5Jonadab then said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill; when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me some food to eat, and let her prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat from her hand.’” 6So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let my sister Tamar come and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.”

      7Then David sent to the house for Tamar, saying, “Go now to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.” 8So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house, and he was lying down. And she took dough, kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. 9She took the pan and dished them out before him, but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, “Have everyone go out from me.” So everyone went out from him. 10Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand.” So Tamar took the cakes which she had made and brought them into the bedroom to her brother Amnon. 11When she brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.” 12But she answered him, “No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this disgraceful thing! 13“As for me, where could I get rid of my reproach? And as for you, you will be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.” 14However, he would not listen to her; since he was stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her.

      15Then Amnon hated her with a very great hatred; for the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Get up, go away!” 16But she said to him, “No, because this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other that you have done to me!” Yet he would not listen to her. 17Then he called his young man who attended him and said, “Now throw this woman out of my presence, and lock the door behind her.” 18Now she had on a long-sleeved garment; for in this manner the virgin daughters of the king dressed themselves in robes. Then his attendant took her out and locked the door behind her. 19Tamar put ashes on her head and tore her long-sleeved garment which was on her; and she put her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went.

      20Then Absalom her brother said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now keep silent, my sister, he is your brother; do not take this matter to heart.” So Tamar remained and was desolate in her brother Absalom’s house. 21Now when King David heard of all these matters, he was very angry. 22But Absalom did not speak to Amnon either good or bad; for Absalom hated Amnon because he had violated his sister Tamar.

      23Now it came about after two full years that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal-hazor, which is near Ephraim, and Absalom invited all the king’s sons.

Absalom Avenges Tamar

      24Absalom came to the king and said, “Behold now, your servant has sheepshearers; please let the king and his servants go with your servant.” 25But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, we should not all go, for we will be burdensome to you.” Although he urged him, he would not go, but blessed him. 26Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” 27But when Absalom urged him, he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him.

      28Absalom commanded his servants, saying, “See now, when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then put him to death. Do not fear; have not I myself commanded you? Be courageous and be valiant.” 29The servants of Absalom did to Amnon just as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose and each mounted his mule and fled.

      30Now it was while they were on the way that the report came to David, saying, “Absalom has struck down all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left.” 31Then the king arose, tore his clothes and lay on the ground; and all his servants were standing by with clothes torn. 32Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, responded, “Do not let my lord suppose they have put to death all the young men, the king’s sons, for Amnon alone is dead; because by the intent of Absalom this has been determined since the day that he violated his sister Tamar. 33“Now therefore, do not let my lord the king take the report to heart, namely, ‘all the king’s sons are dead,’ for only Amnon is dead.”

      34Now Absalom had fled. And the young man who was the watchman raised his eyes and looked, and behold, many people were coming from the road behind him by the side of the mountain. 35Jonadab said to the king, “Behold, the king’s sons have come; according to your servant’s word, so it happened.” 36As soon as he had finished speaking, behold, the king’s sons came and lifted their voices and wept; and also the king and all his servants wept very bitterly.

      37Now Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day. 38So Absalom had fled and gone to Geshur, and was there three years. 39The heart of King David longed to go out to Absalom; for he was comforted concerning Amnon, since he was dead.

—-

Do you know for sure if you will go to heaven or hell when you die? Are you experiencing in your life the peace and joy of a personal relationship with our Creator and Father? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, All Knowing, All Powerful / King of All, Consequences of Sin, Forgive Others / Seek Forgiveness, Grace / Forgiveness, Justice / Judgment, Murder, Rebuke Wrong Behavior, Repenting from Sin, Seeking God, Worthy of Fear / Reverence

How We Respond to YHWH’s Correction Largely Defines Our Relationship with Him

When it comes to submitting our lives to YHWH and becoming His people, none of us will be above rebuke. Not even King David was above rebuke. This is a good thing. We are all accountable to YHWH.  He is a loving father who will rebuke and discipline those He loves. We may not like being rebuked, but it helps us remain close to Him and as such, is a very good thing.

How will we respond to the rebuke? That is what will truly define our relationship with our Father. Will we accept it, ask forgiveness, and repent or will we deny and make excuses, rationalizing what we did as acceptable because of the circumstances?

Repenting, even genuinely, does not mean there will not be consequences for our sin. But it will help to guide us back in good relationship with YHWH after.

2 Samuel 12

Nathan Rebukes David

      1Then the LORD sent Nathan to David. And he came to him and said,
“There were two men in one city, the one rich and the other poor.

      2“The rich man had a great many flocks and herds.

      3“But the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb
Which he bought and nourished;
And it grew up together with him and his children.
It would eat of his bread and drink of his cup and lie in his bosom,
And was like a daughter to him.

      4“Now a traveler came to the rich man,
And he was unwilling to take from his own flock or his own herd,
To prepare for the wayfarer who had come to him;
Rather he took the poor man’s ewe lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him.”

5Then David’s anger burned greatly against the man, and he said to Nathan, “As the LORD lives, surely the man who has done this deserves to die. 6“He must make restitution for the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing and had no compassion.”

      7Nathan then said to David, “You are the man! Thus says the LORD God of Israel, ‘It is I who anointed you king over Israel and it is I who delivered you from the hand of Saul. 8‘I also gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your care, and I gave you the house of Israel and Judah; and if that had been too little, I would have added to you many more things like these! 9‘Why have you despised the word of the LORD by doing evil in His sight? You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword, have taken his wife to be your wife, and have killed him with the sword of the sons of Ammon. 10‘Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.’ 11“Thus says the LORD, ‘Behold, I will raise up evil against you from your own household; I will even take your wives before your eyes and give them to your companion, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight. 12‘Indeed you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel, and under the sun.’” 13Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” And Nathan said to David, “The LORD also has taken away your sin; you shall not die. 14“However, because by this deed you have given occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born to you shall surely die.” 15So Nathan went to his house.

Loss of a Child

       Then the LORD struck the child that Uriah’s widow bore to David, so that he was very sick. 16David therefore inquired of God for the child; and David fasted and went and lay all night on the ground. 17The elders of his household stood beside him in order to raise him up from the ground, but he was unwilling and would not eat food with them. 18Then it happened on the seventh day that the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they said, “Behold, while the child was still alive, we spoke to him and he did not listen to our voice. How then can we tell him that the child is dead, since he might do himself harm!” 19But when David saw that his servants were whispering together, David perceived that the child was dead; so David said to his servants, “Is the child dead?” And they said, “He is dead.” 20So David arose from the ground, washed, anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he came into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he came to his own house, and when he requested, they set food before him and he ate.

      21Then his servants said to him, “What is this thing that you have done? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept; but when the child died, you arose and ate food.” 22He said, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, ‘Who knows, the LORD may be gracious to me, that the child may live.’ 23“But now he has died; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.”

Solomon Born

      24Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and went in to her and lay with her; and she gave birth to a son, and he named him Solomon. Now the LORD loved him 25and sent word through Nathan the prophet, and he named him Jedidiah for the LORD’S sake.

—-

Do you know for sure if you will go to heaven or hell when you die? Are you experiencing in your life the peace and joy of a personal relationship with our Creator and Father? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.