Category Archives: Righteousness / Serving God

Anger (unrighteous anger), Arrogance, Bitterness / Resentment, Discerning / Judging, Envy / Jealousy / Coveting, False Prophets / Teachers, Lying / Deceiving, Pride, Rebuke Wrong Behavior, Repenting from Sin, Revenge, Selfishness, Submitted / Servant, Teachable, Unteachable / Foolish

Do We Seek Truth or Do We Seek Personal Validation?

The chief priests and the Council were not objectively seeking the truth about Yeshua. They had already decided they wanted to put Him to death. We can observe also a complete lack of respect in how they treat Him. Even if they believed Him to be a heretic, and worthy of death, why beat and mock Him?

Matthew 26:57-68

Jesus before Caiaphas

      57Those who had seized Jesus led Him away to Caiaphas, the high priest, where the scribes and the elders were gathered together. 58But Peter was following Him at a distance as far as the courtyard of the high priest, and entered in, and sat down with the officers to see the outcome.

      59Now the chief priests and the whole Council kept trying to obtain false testimony against Jesus, so that they might put Him to death. 60They did not find any, even though many false witnesses came forward. But later on two came forward, 61and said, “This man stated, ‘I am able to destroy the temple of God and to rebuild it in three days.’” 62The high priest stood up and said to Him, “Do You not answer? What is it that these men are testifying against You?” 63But Jesus kept silent. And the high priest said to Him, “I adjure You by the living God, that You tell us whether You are the Christ, the Son of God.” 64Jesus said to him, “You have said it yourself; nevertheless I tell you, hereafter you will see THE SON OF MAN SITTING AT THE RIGHT HAND OF POWER, and COMING ON THE CLOUDS OF HEAVEN.”

      65Then the high priest tore his robes and said, “He has blasphemed! What further need do we have of witnesses? Behold, you have now heard the blasphemy; 66what do you think?” They answered, “He deserves death!”

      67Then they spat in His face and beat Him with their fists; and others slapped Him, 68and said, “Prophesy to us, You Christ; who is the one who hit You?”

To varying degrees, people still act this way towards Yeshua today. They dismiss Him. They don’t really seek truth or understanding of His teaching. Instead, they simply look to discredit or destroy His name and His followers. As we see in the scriptures, those that oppose Him are sometimes within the established religious order that claims to serve Yahweh! So, too, many pastors or religious leaders actually stand against Yeshua and His teaching, while claiming His name.

We are to test everything and not dismiss it out of hand just because we have been taught different in the past or because our pastor says something else is true.  The chief priests and Council would have done well to genuinely test Yeshua and His teaching against the scriptures before making up their minds against Him. We can learn from their mistake.

1 Thessalonians 5:19-22

19Do not quench the Spirit; 20do not despise prophetic utterances. 21But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; 22abstain from every form of evil.

There are several other scriptures you can seek that encourage the same concept of testing. What Does the Bible Say About Test Everything?

From the perspective of Torah, Deuteronomy 13 addresses false prophets. The focus is on those who would seek to lead Yah’s people away from Him and His commandments. Yeshua did not do that. He consistently pointed back to the Torah and the writings of the prophets as the source of authority. He pointed people towards Yahweh.

The basic problem is that the leaders of the time made up their mind ahead of time that He could not be Messiah and never tried to really listen to what else He was teaching. They seemed to overlook all the miracles and healing and casting out of demons that accompanied His ministry. Let their inability or unwillingness to see serve as warning for us. Seek Him diligently and if He may be showing up in a way we do not expect or using someone we do not anticipate, test it vs. scripture rather than our opinion or that commonly accepted by others.

I suppose another warning for us from observing those who came against Yeshua could be summarized as follows: The LORD may send someone to rebuke us for the error of our ways. Try not to get defensive and reject the message because it is difficult to hear. Instead, let us listen carefully and consider and test it against scripture, even if that reveals to us our own sin.

I invite you to pray with me:

Father, please open my eyes to Your message when it is delivered, even if it brings sharp rebuke to me. Help me receive the message and test it and my life against the truth of Your scripture. Help me not be quick to make up my mind based on what I think I already know or what is commonly accepted or taught. The true test is comparing carefully and prayerfully to Your written word. Amen. 

 Shalom

Devotion by John in service to Christ

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Do you know for sure if you will go to heaven or hell when you die? Are you experiencing in your life the peace and joy of a personal relationship with our Creator and Father? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

Submitted / Servant

Yeshua Is Our Perfect Example in Submitting to the Father’s Will

Let there be no doubt. Yeshua went willingly to His crucifixion for our behalf. He was obedient to the Father’s will. He stands as a wonderful and timeless example to all of us.  How often do we struggle to submit to Yahweh’s will for us even when it is so much easier than what was asked of Yeshua?

I can think of an example where my spirit may want to help someone, but if I have been very busy or had a lot of ministry activity recently, my flesh may be weak and I may look for excuses to rationalize not volunteering. I can imagine each of us can think of examples where we could do better.

I pray Yeshua would be my inspiration and the Spirit would be my helper.

Matthew 26:47-56

Jesus’ Betrayal and Arrest

      47While He was still speaking, behold, Judas, one of the twelve, came up accompanied by a large crowd with swords and clubs, who came from the chief priests and elders of the people. 48Now he who was betraying Him gave them a sign, saying, “Whomever I kiss, He is the one; seize Him.” 49Immediately Judas went to Jesus and said, “Hail, Rabbi!” and kissed Him. 50And Jesus said to him, “Friend, do what you have come for.” Then they came and laid hands on Jesus and seized Him.

      51And behold, one of those who were with Jesus reached and drew out his sword, and struck the slave of the high priest and cut off his ear. 52Then Jesus said to him, “Put your sword back into its place; for all those who take up the sword shall perish by the sword. 53“Or do you think that I cannot appeal to My Father, and He will at once put at My disposal more than twelve legions of angels? 54“How then will the Scriptures be fulfilled, which say that it must happen this way?”

      55At that time Jesus said to the crowds, “Have you come out with swords and clubs to arrest Me as you would against a robber? Every day I used to sit in the temple teaching and you did not seize Me. 56“But all this has taken place to fulfill the Scriptures of the prophets.” Then all the disciples left Him and fled.

I invite you to pray with me:

Father, please help me to be strong and confident to serve You, no matter what You ask of me. May the Holy Spirit strengthen me and encourage me to be courageous and loyal. Help me to be a faithful servant, obedient in pursuing Your will. Amen.

Shalom

Devotion by John in service to Christ

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Do you know for sure if you will go to heaven or hell when you die? Are you experiencing in your life the peace and joy of a personal relationship with our Creator and Father? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

Discerning / Judging, False Prophets / Teachers, Holy Spirit / Ruach HaKodesh, Learning To Pray Effectively, Strong in Our Weakness, Submitted / Servant

Should We Acknowledge We May Not Get What We Ask in Prayer?

I have heard quite a few “faith” preachers teach that it is wrong when we pray to say, “your will be done”, because it implies we don’t believe He will do as we ask. They teach that it is double minded to ask for something and then acknowledge that Yahweh may not give it to us.  They set people up to claim and believe in whatever they want from Yahweh, then if He does not give it to them, it is blamed on not having enough faith.  This is quite simple for us to test in scripture. Let us look at how Yeshua prayed. He is ultimately our perfect example.

Matthew 26:36-46

The Garden of Gethsemane

      36Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to His disciples, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be grieved and distressed. 38Then He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.”

      39And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.” 40And He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, “So, you men could not keep watch with Me for one hour? 41“Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

      42He went away again a second time and prayed, saying, “My Father, if this cannot pass away unless I drink it, Your will be done.” 43Again He came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. 44And He left them again, and went away and prayed a third time, saying the same thing once more. 45Then He came to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Behold, the hour is at hand and the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. 46“Get up, let us be going; behold, the one who betrays Me is at hand!”

If Yeshua prays, “not as I will, but as You will”, then so will I! It is not double minded or weak in faith to submit to Yahweh and trust in Him even when He decides something other than what we think is best or what we want.

As a secondary theme, we can also reflect on how Yeshua’s disciples did when He asked them to pray with Him in a very difficult hour? The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. They fell short of the support He wanted. Before we start criticizing them, however, let’s not assume somehow we would be perfect in that situation. I think it is fairly common that we say we will pray with or for someone when they are going through something difficult and even life changing. Then we consider it job well done if we spent a few minutes each day mentioning their need in prayer. I am speaking to myself in this to be sure. I am not sure how I can overcome and do much better on my own, but I can certainly ask the Spirit to help me do better!

I invite you to pray with me:

Father, please help us to have discernment to test what others teach in Your name against Your holy, written word. Help us to have a passion to be in the word daily and in prayer before You daily. Lead Your people in encouraging and supporting one another and also give us wisdom in how to humble ourselves when we pray, submitting always to Your will. Amen. 

Shalom

Devotion by John in service to Christ

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Do you know for sure if you will go to heaven or hell when you die? Are you experiencing in your life the peace and joy of a personal relationship with our Creator and Father? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

Grace / Forgiveness, Loving / Kind, Thankfulness

Take This In Remembrance of Me

The LORD’s supper is something we can come to take for granted if we do it often, or come to not think of it at all if we never take it. When I attended a church where it was given weekly, it became almost just a routine or ritual. When I have attended other churches that take the LORD’s supper rarely, I come to really just not focus on it at all. Somewhere in between is a good place to be. It helps us remember that Christ sacrificed His body and shed His blood for our sins, so that we could be forgiven. It is good to remember and take time to truly reflect on that sacrifice. Don’t take it without really thinking about what it means. Don’t forget to take it from time to time with others who follow Yeshua.

Matthew 26:26-35

The Lord’s Supper Instituted

      26While they were eating, Jesus took some bread, and after a blessing, He broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is My body.” 27And when He had taken a cup and given thanks, He gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you; 28for this is My blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for forgiveness of sins. 29“But I say to you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in My Father’s kingdom.”

      30After singing a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.

      31Then Jesus said to them, “You will all fall away because of Me this night, for it is written, ‘I WILL STRIKE DOWN THE SHEPHERD, AND THE SHEEP OF THE FLOCK SHALL BE SCATTERED.’ 32“But after I have been raised, I will go ahead of you to Galilee.” 33But Peter said to Him, “Even though all may fall away because of You, I will never fall away.” 34Jesus said to him, “Truly I say to you that this very night, before a rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.” 35Peter said to Him, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You.” All the disciples said the same thing too.

I think we can also recognize that they sang a hymn together. That is a good thing to do with fellow believers. We don’t often think of Yeshua as singing, but He and His disciples surely did.

I invite you to pray with me:

Father, please help me to have the right attitude about taking the LORD’s supper in remembrance of Yeshua and His sacrifice for me. Help me not to overlook the significance and help me not to ignore this symbolic way of remembering what You have done for me. Thank You for making a way for me to be forgiven and reconciled to You. Amen. 

  Shalom

Devotion by John in service to Christ

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Do you know for sure if you will go to heaven or hell when you die? Are you experiencing in your life the peace and joy of a personal relationship with our Creator and Father? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

Hebrew Roots / Commands / Law, Study the Word, Thankfulness, Traditions / Holidays

Yeshua Observed the Moedim and So Should We

Even as Yeshua was preparing for crucifixion, as He knew that one of His closest followers had chosen to turn against Him, He still focused on observing the Moedim, the LORD’s appointed times, with His disciples. It was especially appropriate to celebrate Passover at this time considering that it is a foreshadowing of the sacrifice of Yeshua for our sins.

Passover reminds us of the LORD setting His people free from bondage to Egypt and consistent with Yeshua’s death on the cross as our Passover lamb (symbolically), we can now celebrate Passover including how Yeshua has set us free from bondage to sin!

Matthew 26:17-25

      17Now on the first day of Unleavened Bread the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Where do You want us to prepare for You to eat the Passover?” 18And He said, “Go into the city to a certain man, and say to him, ‘The Teacher says, “My time is near; I am to keep the Passover at your house with My disciples.”’” 19The disciples did as Jesus had directed them; and they prepared the Passover.

The Last Passover

     20Now when evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the twelve disciples. 21As they were eating, He said, “Truly I say to you that one of you will betray Me.” 22Being deeply grieved, they each one began to say to Him, “Surely not I, Lord?” 23And He answered, “He who dipped his hand with Me in the bowl is the one who will betray Me. 24“The Son of Man is to go, just as it is written of Him; but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been good for that man if he had not been born.” 25And Judas, who was betraying Him, said, “Surely it is not I, Rabbi?” Jesus said to him, “You have said it yourself.”

To learn more, read Celebrating God’s Holy Days (Moedim).

I invite you to pray with me:

Father, please open my eyes to all that is in Your holy word. Let it be a light to my path and help me to walk in Your ways. Thank You for sending Yeshua to die for my sins and create a way for me to be forgiven and reconciled with You. Turn my heart to embrace Your appointed times and let them draw me closer in my relationship with You. Amen. 

Shalom

Devotion by John in service to Christ

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Do you know for sure if you will go to heaven or hell when you die? Are you experiencing in your life the peace and joy of a personal relationship with our Creator and Father? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

Church / Body of Christ, Courage / Fear, Faith / Trusting God, Obeying God, Purposeful / Intentional, Rebuke Wrong Behavior, Submitted / Servant

Are You Betraying Yeshua as Judas Did?

Judas’ betrayal of Yeshua was premeditated. He did not do this on the “spur of the moment”. He planned the betrayal and plotted with those who wished to do Yeshua harm. He did it for money.

Matthew 26:14-16

Judas’s Bargain

      14Then one of the twelve, named Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests 15and said, “What are you willing to give me to betray Him to you?” And they weighed out thirty pieces of silver to him. 16From then on he began looking for a good opportunity to betray Jesus.

While many of us will never be faced with something so direct in terms of being tempted to betray Yeshua as Judas, do not quickly pass over these verses saying to yourself, “I would never do that.” Pause and reflect. Pray for the Holy Spirit to reveal to you any areas in your life in which you may be choosing not to follow Yeshua completely because of some pressure or conflict within family or work or social media. Judas betrayed Yeshua for money. Many today may choose not to defend Yeshua for fear of losing their job or not getting a raise or because other people may come against their business.

Just like when Yeshua was walking among us in His earthly ministry, today there are many who wish to silence or destroy His teachings and any who share them. If we are to serve Him, we must stand up to this and boldly proclaim that He is LORD! Many who tell themselves that they would never do as Judas did, are doing exactly that, and often it may be for money.  The situation is just framed in a different context.

I invite you to pray with me:

Father, please help me to boldly proclaim Your truth and stand firm in my faith in You as Messiah. Help me to live joyfully and gracefully even though others may come against me for my faith in You. Let there be no area of my life in which I am not willing to put You first and above all else. Protect Your people and raise up the righteous that the hearts of the people would turn again to You and away from the paths of wickedness. Amen.

Shalom

Devotion by John in service to Christ

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Do you know for sure if you will go to heaven or hell when you die? Are you experiencing in your life the peace and joy of a personal relationship with our Creator and Father? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

Compassion, Compassionate, Generous, Giving, Kindness / Gentleness, Love, Loving / Kind, Offering Sacrifices

Be Slow to Criticize Those Who Are Honoring God

Sometimes we can get focused on how others are managing what God has given them and we can start to pick apart the decisions they are making. When this happens, we tend not to give the benefit of the doubt to others as we may give to ourselves. While we may  focus on our own intent and motivation, we tend to focus on the tangible actions (as we perceive) them done by others.

In particular, we may want to pause and prayerfully reflect before criticizing others who are making significant sacrifice for Christ. Let us focus on their intent to honor and glorify God rather than our opinion on how they should do it.

Matthew 26:6-13

The Precious Ointment

      6Now when Jesus was in Bethany, at the home of Simon the leper, 7a woman came to Him with an alabaster vial of very costly perfume, and she poured it on His head as He reclined at the table. 8But the disciples were indignant when they saw this, and said, “Why this waste? 9“For this perfume might have been sold for a high price and the money given to the poor.” 10But Jesus, aware of this, said to them, “Why do you bother the woman? For she has done a good deed to Me. 11“For you always have the poor with you; but you do not always have Me. 12“For when she poured this perfume on My body, she did it to prepare Me for burial. 13“Truly I say to you, wherever this gospel is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be spoken of in memory of her.”

I think Yeshua was focused on the loving and kind heart and intent of the woman to honor Him. He was not concerned with maximizing the financial impact of such a gift. We should strive to do likewise.

If someone comes to you to ask your help and wisdom on how to manage such things, then by all means thoughtfully and prayerfully and compassionately give them your opinion and discuss pros / cons. Ultimately the decision is still theirs, even if they do something you would not. Be supportive when people try to lift up God and honor Him.

I invite you to pray with me.

Father, please help me be slow to criticize how people are trying to honor You. Yes, there are right and wrong ways according to Your word, but help me not to be critical because it is different from what I personally expect. Help me see the heart orange person and their intent as you do. Amen.

Shalom

Devotion by John in service to Christ

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Do you know for sure if you will go to heaven or hell when you die? Are you experiencing in your life the peace and joy of a personal relationship with our Creator and Father? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

Courage / Fear, Discerning / Judging, Obeying God, Purposeful / Intentional, Seeking God, Wise

Obeying the LORD Does Not Mean We Will Have No Conflict

Sometimes it is worthwhile to reflect on some of the basics. Yeshua knew He was going to be crucified as a result of following the path that the Father chose for Him.  Two aspects stand out and we should not overlook them.

  • Yeshua continued in obedience to Yahweh’s calling for Him even despite harsh opposition and personal harm.
  • The religious leaders that claimed to follow Yahweh came strongly against Him, plotting to kill Him and eventually doing so. It was leaders from among God’s own people that came against Him for walking in the truth of God’s word.

Prayerfully consider how this applies to your own life and your walk with the LORD. We may not face crucifixion, but people will come against us when we live for the LORD. The resistance may even come from those who claim the name of our Messiah if or when we try to walk in truth of the scriptures that would reveal that they are not doing so.

Matthew 26:1-5

The Plot to Kill Jesus

      1When Jesus had finished all these words, He said to His disciples, 2“You know that after two days the Passover is coming, and the Son of Man is to be handed over for crucifixion.”

      3Then the chief priests and the elders of the people were gathered together in the court of the high priest, named Caiaphas; 4and they plotted together to seize Jesus by stealth and kill Him. 5But they were saying, “Not during the festival, otherwise a riot might occur among the people.”

I invite you to pray with me:

Father, please help me to focus on what You call me to do. Give me discernment and courage. Help me listen to the wise counsel of others, but not turn away from Your calling for me. Open up the wisdom of the scriptures to help guide me as a light to my path as to what You are calling me to do. Amen. 

  Shalom

Devotion by John in service to Christ

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Do you know for sure if you will go to heaven or hell when you die? Are you experiencing in your life the peace and joy of a personal relationship with our Creator and Father? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

Purposeful / Intentional, Study the Word

Find Hidden Gems in the Genealogies

There are some hidden gems within the genealogies in the Bible. There is plenty for those who like to trace lineage of key characters or try to work out the age of the earth, but there are also small segments in some of the text which opens a small window into the lives of someone whom we do not see elsewhere in detail. In 1 Chronicles 4, you can find two that catch my attention.

  • Jabez is called out in verse 9-10
  • Starting in verse 38

You can spend some time trying to puzzle out why each nugget was included in the genealogies, but many others were not about the other names listed. I have a more detailed article on Jabez you can read for more thoughts on him (The Prayer of Jabez).

1 Chronicles 4

Line of Hur, Asher

      1The sons of Judah were Perez, Hezron, Carmi, Hur and Shobal. 2Reaiah the son of Shobal became the father of Jahath, and Jahath became the father of Ahumai and Lahad. These were the families of the Zorathites. 3These were the sons of Etam: Jezreel, Ishma and Idbash; and the name of their sister was Hazzelelponi. 4Penuel was the father of Gedor, and Ezer the father of Hushah. These were the sons of Hur, the firstborn of Ephrathah, the father of Bethlehem. 5Ashhur, the father of Tekoa, had two wives, Helah and Naarah. 6Naarah bore him Ahuzzam, Hepher, Temeni and Haahashtari. These were the sons of Naarah. 7The sons of Helah were Zereth, Izhar and Ethnan. 8Koz became the father of Anub and Zobebah, and the families of Aharhel the son of Harum. 9Jabez was more honorable than his brothers, and his mother named him Jabez saying, “Because I bore him with pain.” 10Now Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, “Oh that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my border, and that Your hand might be with me, and that You would keep me from harm that it may not pain me!” And God granted him what he requested.

      11Chelub the brother of Shuhah became the father of Mehir, who was the father of Eshton. 12Eshton became the father of Beth-rapha and Paseah, and Tehinnah the father of Ir-nahash. These are the men of Recah.

      13Now the sons of Kenaz were Othniel and Seraiah. And the sons of Othniel were Hathath and Meonothai. 14Meonothai became the father of Ophrah, and Seraiah became the father of Joab the father of Ge-harashim, for they were craftsmen. 15The sons of Caleb the son of Jephunneh were Iru, Elah and Naam; and the son of Elah was Kenaz. 16The sons of Jehallelel were Ziph and Ziphah, Tiria and Asarel. 17The sons of Ezrah were Jether, Mered, Epher and Jalon. (And these are the sons of Bithia the daughter of Pharaoh, whom Mered took) and she conceived and bore Miriam, Shammai and Ishbah the father of Eshtemoa. 18His Jewish wife bore Jered the father of Gedor, and Heber the father of Soco, and Jekuthiel the father of Zanoah. 19The sons of the wife of Hodiah, the sister of Naham, were the fathers of Keilah the Garmite and Eshtemoa the Maacathite. 20The sons of Shimon were Amnon and Rinnah, Benhanan and Tilon. And the sons of Ishi were Zoheth and Ben-zoheth. 21The sons of Shelah the son of Judah were Er the father of Lecah and Laadah the father of Mareshah, and the families of the house of the linen workers at Beth-ashbea; 22and Jokim, the men of Cozeba, Joash, Saraph, who ruled in Moab, and Jashubi-lehem. And the records are ancient. 23These were the potters and the inhabitants of Netaim and Gederah; they lived there with the king for his work.

Descendants of Simeon

      24The sons of Simeon were Nemuel and Jamin, Jarib, Zerah, Shaul; 25Shallum his son, Mibsam his son, Mishma his son. 26The sons of Mishma were Hammuel his son, Zaccur his son, Shimei his son. 27Now Shimei had sixteen sons and six daughters; but his brothers did not have many sons, nor did all their family multiply like the sons of Judah. 28They lived at Beersheba, Moladah and Hazar-shual, 29at Bilhah, Ezem, Tolad, 30Bethuel, Hormah, Ziklag, 31Beth-marcaboth, Hazar-susim, Beth-biri and Shaaraim. These were their cities until the reign of David. 32Their villages were Etam, Ain, Rimmon, Tochen and Ashan, five cities; 33and all their villages that were around the same cities as far as Baal. These were their settlements, and they have their genealogy.

      34Meshobab and Jamlech and Joshah the son of Amaziah, 35and Joel and Jehu the son of Joshibiah, the son of Seraiah, the son of Asiel, 36and Elioenai, Jaakobah, Jeshohaiah, Asaiah, Adiel, Jesimiel, Benaiah, 37Ziza the son of Shiphi, the son of Allon, the son of Jedaiah, the son of Shimri, the son of Shemaiah; 38these mentioned by name were leaders in their families; and their fathers’ houses increased greatly. 39They went to the entrance of Gedor, even to the east side of the valley, to seek pasture for their flocks. 40They found rich and good pasture, and the land was broad and quiet and peaceful; for those who lived there formerly were Hamites. 41These, recorded by name, came in the days of Hezekiah king of Judah, and attacked their tents and the Meunites who were found there, and destroyed them utterly to this day, and lived in their place, because there was pasture there for their flocks. 42From them, from the sons of Simeon, five hundred men went to Mount Seir, with Pelatiah, Neariah, Rephaiah and Uzziel, the sons of Ishi, as their leaders. 43They destroyed the remnant of the Amalekites who escaped, and have lived there to this day.

Father, please help me to have strong desire to learn and study Your word. Please lead and guide me in the Spirit to open my eyes to the wisdom and insights contained therein. Amen.

Shalom.

Devotion by John in service to Christ

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Do you know for sure if you will go to heaven or hell when you die? Are you experiencing in your life the peace and joy of a personal relationship with our Creator and Father? Learn more about salvation through The Message of the Cross.

Adultery / Sex Outside Marriage, Marriage, Purposeful / Intentional, Temptation/Tempting

Foundation 5a: Friends of the Opposite Sex (In Marriage)

This is part 5a of a 9-part series I am sharing from Bible.org. (Link to Foundation 5: Conflict Resolution in Marriage.

Walking through this series with your spouse or future spouse will bring you closer together in understanding one another and God’s intent for marriage.

—Link to Bible.org: 5a. Friends of the Opposite Sex | Bible.org

—Link to PDF: 5a. Article_ Friends of the Opposite Sex_ _ Bible.org

How will you handle friendships with the opposite sex in marriage? This seemingly unimportant issue can often cause great strain and conflict within a marriage.

This topic came up while I was working as a Navy Reserve chaplain at Great Lakes Navy Base. While there, I attended a two-hour group pre-marital counseling session for sailors. The chaplain running the session asked the sailors this question, “How many of you have friends of the opposite sex?” The whole class raised their hands. The next question was, “How many of your fiancés have friends of the opposite sex?” The whole class raised their hands again. Finally, he said, “How many of you plan on keeping it that way?” Each of the sailors looked at each other trying to discern what the right answer was, but eventually, all of them raised their hands again.

The chaplain then began to describe a formula of how relationships develop and progress further than friendship. He said:

I know there are people in here who think their fiancé was the only person in the world they could ever fall in love with. However, let me quickly burst that bubble for you. There is a formula for love, and it is pretty simple. It is having a person of the opposite sex + time together + intimate sharing. Those are the only three things needed for you to become seriously attracted to someone, and it potentially can happen with anyone.

Those of you who plan to keep your friends of the opposite sex, I would highly discourage it. Do you think most people who end up having affairs, initially planned to cheat on their mates? No, many times it happens simply because the couple did not have a rational plan about how they were going to interact with the opposite sex. They began to have fights and then one spouse went to share their problems with a friend of the opposite sex. When this continually happened, it created vulnerability and intimacy, eventually leading to an affair. Or, one mate had a job that required travel while the other stayed home, partied, and hung out with the opposite sex when the mate was away. Again, this produced the simple formula of the opposite sex + time together + intimate sharing, leading to problems.

These are not uncommon scenarios; they happen all the time. To make it worse, throw alcohol into the picture. Then anything could happen. It only takes one drink to lower your inhibitions…

The topic of friendship with the opposite sex is a topic every couple should consider before getting married. Personally, my wife and I talked about this before marriage, and we both agreed it was very difficult, even as a single person, to have a close relationship with the opposite sex without someone’s feelings eventually getting involved. Not impossible, but difficult.

How did we decide to handle it? As a pastor, I have to minister to females, but I am very careful about being alone with them unless it is necessary for confidentiality. When I am going to be alone with a female for an extended period of time, I always try to let my wife know and make sure she approves. If the counseling will be continuous, I will probably ask her to get involved.

In addition, before I got married, one of my best friends was a female, and to be honest, feelings sometimes got involved. However, we never went further than friendship. In marriage, it was very important to me for my wife to become close with this female if my friend was to remain a part of my life. By God’s grace, my wife now has a closer friendship with her than I do. For me, this was the only way my friend and I could continue to have a close relationship. With that said, my relationship with this girl is not even close to where it was previously because now my wife gets all my intimate thoughts, fears, plans, and time alone. That intimacy is reserved for my wife alone. And, by God’s grace, this close friend is now also married, and her intimate thoughts are reserved for her husband.

Consequently, this is a very important issue for couples to discuss and to create a plan for. When not properly addressed, it often becomes a source of conflict and tension within a marriage and sometimes it can be destructive. How will you handle relationships with the opposite sex?

Continue with Foundation 6: Raising Godly Children in Marriage.

I invite you to pray with me:

Father, lead and guide us in our relationships with others so that we would strengthen our marriage and keep it as a set apart relationship in our lives in a way that brings honor and glory to You. Amen. 

 Shalom

Devotion by John in service to Christ

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